Just as there are many different ways to have sex…so are there many different ways to enjoy pegging. I want to give a shout out to all of you fans of pegging who don’t feel the desire to combine it with any other kink. I’m going to call you “Loving Pegging” enthusiasts.
Fans of “Loving Pegging” are quite poorly represented in pegging porn, which caters to fans of female domination, humiliation, degradation, feminization and general abuse. Certainly not all pegging enthusiasts are into those things, but as a result of the volume of porn depicting it that way, I get a lot of people actually asking if those kinks are mandatory to practicing pegging. Of course not. We all get to choose what we do in bed with our partners. If you both want to wear bunny ears and leather gloves while pegging then that’s exactly what you should do!
If your preferences are solidly in the Loving Pegging category, however, I would imagine it gets old to hear about all the varied kinks in connection with pegging. I imagine it is frustrating to rarely encounter a discussion about pegging as just one more way for a couple to have intimate, sexy pleasure. I love the descriptions of Loving Pegging couples who enjoy a high level of intimacy and loving tenderness with their pegging. The vulnerability required of the man certainly encourages that.
Perhaps my erotica is a tad frustrating as well… Why does she always have to spank him first or tie him up or dominate him? * laughs* Well, I do have one foot in the kink door myself, having discovered dominant underpinnings when I explored my love of pegging. Writing erotica is rather exposing…because I write about exactly what turns me on. So that first story “Hard Times at the Hotel” was an eye opener for me…to my hidden desires. But that’s just me…
Back to you Vanilla couples – and I do not use that word derogatorily. Those of you who have discovered pegging and delight in its pleasures without combining it with BDSM, Dominance/submission, role play or anything else…where is your forum? The small groups I found here and there around the internet are not very active and unless they have a good moderator, often get “invaded” by kinky peggers who post typical porn pics and crude personal ads galore. I feel for you guys. I fully support a forum where you can converse about pegging sans kink. Here is why I suspect that is not happening…
An observation: Kinky people are used to talking about sex. Non-kinky people – not so much. Kinky circles, whether on the internet or in BDSM clubs are one of the places where pegging discussions are welcomed. When I started teaching I approached a local lingerie/sex toy store owner and asked if I could teach a class on pegging. She was reluctant and expressed doubt that she could fill the class – didn’t think that was quite the “demographic” she attracted to her store. Despite the fact that she can barely keep the Bend Over Boyfriend beginner kits on the shelf! People might buy the equipment (and hustle out the door) but wouldn’t be comfortable discussing it in a class. They won’t even ask for anal lube! So she referred me to a local BDSM group and they were thrilled to have me.
Vanilla couples who have discovered pegging are rare. Plus, it is more unusual for Vanilla couples to talk about sex openly. Those two factors alone do not bode well for a thriving vanilla pegging forum.
Perhaps it’s all about relaxing and being a bit more accepting. When I first checked out FetLife strap-on and pegging groups, the humiliation/degradation talk really turned me off. After a while I realized that it’s just a different kind of kink. Not my choice, but not something that drives me away from the group discussions, either. Now I can be exposed to other’s kinks without judging or reacting to them…mostly because I have learned more about them and met people who have those kinks and asked questions. I am truly endlessly fascinated by the seemingly limitless ways people get turned on.
No earth-shattering conclusions here – just some observations in the wee hours of a cool morning.
I do moderate a forum here that might be acceptable for Loving Pegging fans – check it out if you like.
Any thoughts you care to add?