This is a MYTH.
Regular pegging will not ruin your ass. By that I mean you need have no fears of incontinence or a "too loose" ass from indulging in regular pegging pleasures. (There are extremes...I am not talking about over the top huge dildos or sharp objects tearing into your ass every night with no warm up. There are ways to overdo just about anything if you really try. )
Some things really bear repeating - so here it is from Violet Blue:
The notion of losing bowel control due to frequent anal penetration is a hurtful myth, perpetuated by our culture’s shame about anal sex. It is usually directed at gay men, though since anal sex has become popular with heterosexual couples, that myth has followed into mainstream culture, no thinks to pundits who confuse opinion for fact, such as Dr. Drew.
In fact, playing with anal penetration for pleasure actually tones the muscles, stimulates healthy blood flow to the area, and is a great form of exercise for the sphincter muscles. The more you use the muscles, the better shape they will be in — though because they are smooth muscles, not like the muscles in your biceps, they can’t be “bulked up” so you don’t have to worry about them becoming bigger from “too many” orgasms! Oh, if only there was such a thing as too many orgasms… I digress.
But as long as you don’t rush, you stop when you feel pain, and don’t do anything to damage the tissue, you may find that you have even better bootie control than before.
So if you are feeling some fear inside you about that dildo inside you causing anything except pleasure...even if you ask for it every night...read the whole post. Thanks, Violet Blue - you rock.
New information!! Please read the post below...
11 Responses
“a hurtful myth, perpetuated”
I’m a supporter, and this post will probably get deleted, but…
Talk to a surgeon or spend some time in dissection and you’ll see that it’s not really a myth. Many of the muscles in the anal sphincter are composed of smooth muscle, which are used in your eyelids and a couple other places.
Smooth muscle does not become stronger with use. It cannot withstand significant trauma, but it is fairly elastic and you have to stretch it quite a bit to cause irreversible damage. Depending on your physiology, that limit is probably a one time stress to a diameter 2x as large as your average stool.
If you’re “hammering”, that diameter is probably a lot smaller. But since we don’t have much in the way of before and after clinical exams, nobody knows the safety limits.
Because the supplementary muscles are very strong, and we can control them, many people think that it’s simply a question of relaxing. It isn’t.
In truth, by the time you can consciously relax the sphincter to admit large objects, the smooth muscle has probably had a tear or two and isn’t much of a concern anymore.
From a practical point of view all it did anyway was keep small amounts of flatulence and liquid waste (mostly water not absorbed in the large bowel) from escaping… not a big problem with most diets.
The ring can tolerate about 2 or 3 significant (painful) tears before it loses enough function to be unimportant in your ability to tolerate “intrusion”.
On the bright side: Many overweight or obese people will already have suffered one or more of these tears starting as early as puberty, so it’s not the end of the world.
You can get these events from constipation, straining or unusually dry or large bowel movements. This is why so many people think there’s no problem with introducing objects into the rectum.
Can you wreck it from repeated trauma? Certainly. You don’t have to watch much porn to see serious problems in people who have voluntarily subjected themselves to trauma. But thanks to our voluntary control of the other muscles, it doesn’t mean you’ll need diapers.
For the most part, until you’re in your late 70’s, the only person who will suffer from minor anal incontinence will be the person who does your laundry.
Lastly – there’s no science, but the prostate can indeed be bruised with negative effects. Trim those nails, and don’t use hard objects. Good luck!
ONA –
I am always interested in corrections, information and differing viewpoints – so of course I would not delete your comment! I love learning.
First of all – Thank you. This is excellent and very specific physiological information! I am curious to know your qualifications because you sound quite knowledgeable. I’d like to disseminate this information in a more front page way (on all the forums/websites I participate in) to everyone who is looking for it as opposed to hoping they find it hidden in the comments of a blog post. But I’d love to know your qualifications, first – messaged to me in private if you wish.
So tell me if I have this right, please…
1) Muscle tone of the inner sphincter is not built up or improved with more strap-on play. Can it be for the outer sphincter?
2) It is not all about relaxing. Small tears can occur but they are no more serious than tears which can occur normally with constipation, straining or unusually dry or large bowel movements.
3) “But thanks to our voluntary control of the other muscles, it doesn’t mean you’ll need diapers.” I want to understand here – there are 2 sphincters in the rectum, correct? The inner sphincter is involuntary and the outer is voluntary. So does that mean that the damage you describe is only to the inner involuntary? And the outer voluntary overrides the damage in terms of possible incontinence?
4) After all that…As long as you are “reasonable” in your play – not too large, too fast, too hard, sharp objects – you are likely not going to have a problem.
PS – Please don’t get the idea that I’m bashing your stand. I just spend a lot of time around asses.
Violet Blue’s expertise on that question is a valuable opinion, just like that of some random proctology surgical tech who fancies a good time now and then.
I would submit that asking a jockey what’s good for the horse will get an answer that might not match up with that of the honest race track vet.
Interesting analogy, and one that makes me even more curious about your qualifications. Most people who love anal play come to the question of damage and incontinence at some point. I have never heard such a detailed explanation in relation to anal play. Again, thank you. I imagine that few professionals would want to be connected to anything having to do with anal play, right? So the chance that there would be a professional that would step forward publicly and make these statements is probably just about nil. Anal pleasure is often still the thing no one talks about…except in the kinky circles and on the kinky websites (welcome). On behalf of the anal play community, thank you for stepping forward, even anonymously.
My wife has been pegging me every other night for well over 5 years. We started small but are up to 10.5 inches in diameter. Most of our sessions are from 20 to 30 minutes. As a result, my anus is huge and I often have problems with leakage. My wife and I have discussed this, but it is her favorite form of foreplay and she informed me she has no intention of stopping as she likes the feeling of domination it gives her over me in the bedroom.
I am going to answer this comment seriously though it reeeeeally seems like a troll post.
In the very first paragraph of this article I say:
Your claim of a 10.5 diameter toy is ludicrous – they don’t make them that big (because it is physically impossible to get it in you). Perhaps you mean 10.5″ in circumference, which translates to about a 3.5″ diameter.
As far as having problems with leakage – 3.5″ in diameter could perhaps do that; it’s huge. But allowing your wife to damage your body (if this message is indeed real – which I SO think it is not) is, excuse me, just plain stupid. Consensual sexual activities that do not cause damage are fine – this is causing damage. You are in an abusive relationship.
I would like to comment on this. I have been riding big dildos for years now and I am close to taking a 4″ wide dildo, I have the Cyclops , which is 3 1/2″ wide and if you go slowly , you shouldnt have a problem damaging your anus. I do leak from time to time also but after a few weeks without playing , my hole gets back to normal.
When playing with big toys , always remember to use lots of lube and go slowly until your rectom loosens up and then you can start letting her pop your hole faster.
You are certainly pushing the limits size-wise! I agree – slow and plenty of lube is so key!
Well thank you Ruby. I love getting it up the ass. I guess I should have been a woman, im not sure but it really feels awesome when I stretch my anus. I love the soreness it gives me and when im at work , all I can think about is cumming home and getting on top of one of my giant dildos to stretch it out more.
I have two dildos that I always start out with to warm up my hole, The Cockzilla dildo , which has a 3″ wide head and a 2.86″ wide veiny shaft and 16″ long, 13.5″ insertable , the other one is called King Cock 12 ” black. It has a 2.86″ cockhead and a nice thick veiny 3″ wide shaft , 9,5″ insertable. those two dildos give me intense stimulation on my prostate so when in getting them pumped inside me I start to ejaculate and usually can without touching myself. Usually though , I will warm up with one of those and then stop using it before I cum and then grab a bigger wider dildo. I usually grab the Cyclops ar my big blue ex lg missile which has a 3 1/2″ wide shaft with ripple waves halfway down on the 12″ long shaft , I will ride it for 5 to 10 mins. before grabing something wider. I have 4 monster dildos with 4″ shafts and one has a 4″ head and the shaft halfway down is 5″ wide. I have not yet been able to get that giant cockhead in me , I want it so bad too, I hope one day to be able to take the 4″ head and pop it in and out of my rectom.
You have to go slow so you dont damage youself , eventually your anus will stretch out and open up for the big wide ones .
Thank you Ruby for your reply
Hello,
the post is a little bit old, but I would like share my personal experience with dildos 1.5 inches to 2.5 inches wide and length max to 11 inches. I’m a male by the way 30 years old. I was practicing this with normal dildos like 1.5 inches with length max to 7-8 inches for 10 years and I have never had any problems with that. Well… sounds good, but I started using bigger and bigger sizes reaching the mentioned above. And believe me I really fucked up my life!!! First I started using longer dildos like 11inches and with the time something happened to my body and I started have some digestive problems, very hard to explain to the doctor and of course they can do nothing. I stopped for 6months using dildos but one day I started again this time with sizes up to 2.5inches and with the time… I fucked up again… now I feel my anus really loosen I have to tightening it all the time because I feel it really loose, it’s hard to explain actually. Again more digestive problems.
I share this, because it’s not so safe just one moment you can have a big problems, so better use dildos up to 1.5 inches.
Now I do not have any idea what to do… this discomfort I created to myself is awful really. I would like to know if somebody else have the same experiences and if they can help with advises somehow. By the way I totally stopped with the dildo playing.
I read this and responded on my latest podcast, #246
Here’s the link:
https://peggingparadise.com/2019/10/podcast-246/
Thanks for contributing your experience. Hope things improve for you!
All the Best,
Ruby