Podcast #231 Part 1

8 Responses

1. I found your comments on circumcision interesting. Before the internet, my male partners were all American-born and circumcised. I remember thinking uncircumcised penises seemed weird and gross. Then a few years ago, I started dating online and meeting guys from different parts of the world. Now I’m not even fazed by it. I think the more people get familiar with uncircumcised men, the less people will circumcise babies out of habit.

   The American custom is very weird. A century ago some doctor thought it would keep kids from masturbating — because, yeah, that’s how that works! So we just kept cutting little baby dicks, for over a hundred years, even though the original rationale is clearly bullshit.

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   1. Same here – kinda freaked out by intact foreskins when I was younger. Now, it’s one more thing to have fun with. When I think of how I would feel if my parents cut off a part of me right after I was born, it feels pretty shitty. Especially if it affected my sexuality.

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2. Hi,
   i’ve been circumsised at 30. Knowing the two states of the penis, I assure you circumsision is good. No bad smells, no problems with anything anymore. For real, I think cirumcision is the best thing that you can get to get operational at 100 % in your sex life.

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   1. I am glad you are happy with your surgery and it was a positive life experience for you. I’m also glad your parents allowed you to make that choice as an adult man.

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      1. I just wanted to testify my experience. Canvas talk about his feelings about circumsision, but, living in a place where nearly nobody is made me think about the opposite.
         But, I didn’t understood why you through I had to call my parents for the operation. I’m not a kid or either,

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         1. Sorry if I was not clear – My point was that if your parents had made that decision for you right after you were born, you would not have had the opportunity to decide for yourself as an adult.

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3. Hello Ruby. I had messaged you a few days ago but that was before I listened to your podcasts and viewed the Reddit boards about dead bedrooms. Listening too and looking at the issues that many others are facing it was easy to relate. I do feel that for some of us dead bedroom would be a very extreme way of defining our experience. I can’t say that my sex life is dead but it certainly is not a very active one, it’s probably more of a hospice or ICU bedroom instead of a dead one. Not really sure if there is a better name for it.

   I definitely agree with many of the redditors on how depressive that it can make a person feel. I’ve had to deal with the sadness, the feeling of being undesired or feeling like I am unattractive to my partner or anyone else even though she swears that that is not the case. I have also noticed how frustrations with our sexual intimacy can occasionally effect other aspects of my life, it can lower my confidence in day to day life, my ability to confide in her about things and my desire for sex when she does offer it to me.

   From the beginning of our relationship I was aware that my partner already had a much lower sex drive then me but add to that horrible experiences with an ex-boyfriend and vaginal pain during intercourse it is just the perfect storm for a struggling sex life. Unfortunately where we differ the most is with our fantasies. I have brought up conversations about fantasies a number of times and I’ve finally come to the realization that she is extremely, extremely vanilla and not really into fantasies of her own. She could and would be perfectly fine with nothing more than some occasional missionary sex. I did mention pegging and anal stimulation and she listened to podcast 112 for me, after some promising initial play with fingers and toys things have again slowed and we have fallen back into our rut. When I mention strapons or pegging the common response is “maybe we can try it someday” Not sure if that someday means 10, 20 or 30 years from now or is it a less argumentative way of saying never.

   I’ve realized that if things are ever to get better in the bedroom we both need some type of sexual and emotional counseling, we need to find out what is causing her the physical pain during sex and I have to learn to accept that certain fantasies like pegging may be too much for her or us. I hope that I can still enjoy pictures, movies and stories of pegging and get my fulfillment for it in that way.

   Sorry about the long message/ rant.
   Hope you are doing well.

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   1. I read this and responded on my latest podcast, #233
      Here’s the link:
      https://peggingparadise.com/blog/2019/01/podcast-233/

      Thanks for you letter, and do take care.
      All the Best,
      Ruby

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