Let's talk pegging preparation. When you first begin to explore pegging, preparation is essential. Sadly, few people go further than cleaning out, sufficient lube, and making sure the ass in question can accept the toy being used.
Questions like the following (and many others with the same basic message) are posted with regularity on pegging discussion forums all over the internet:
So this is finally happening and I'm kinda nervous! My partner and I are going to try pegging tomorrow night. Any helpful hints or advice? All information welcome. I am so excited!
When I see these posts, I cringe inside and simply hope things go okay for them. Why do I cringe? Because there are many potential pitfalls when first walking down the path of pegging with a partner. Ideally preparation begins far sooner than 24 hours before the event. Preparation in terms of education. There are so many things that are helpful to know besides cleaning out and using enough lube!
Pegging Can Be...Complicated
Most folks don't realize that pegging is significantly more involved than your average sexytime activity. If you decide to explore a cum-eating fantasy, there are only so many ways it can go wrong. (Hopefully none of them involve getting cum in your eye.) Pegging is infinitely more complicated. Pegging is more of a varsity sex act, in my opinion. Like fisting; it pays to learn all about it before you do it.
What Can Go Wrong?
Well, lots of things. Let's take a look.
Insufficient Foreplay
Asses need foreplay! Both partners may underestimate the need for it, or ignore it altogether (because that's the way they do it in porn, right?). Perhaps they believe that pain is simply a part of initial anal penetration; a misconception repeated all too often all over the internet. No! If it hurts, you are doing something wrong. When receivers endure the pain of a too fast penetration, believing it to be necessary, an injury can occur.
Role Reversal and Expectations
Givers, surprised to discover that fucking takes more energy than they imagined, might get discouraged by initial difficulty or awkwardness. They might feel totally unprepared to suddenly be expected to run the fuck. The receiver might act expectant or impatient, not understanding the steepness of the giver's learning curve. Both parties expecting easy orgasms can be disappointed if they don't happen.
Bad Equipment
Then there's the question of what kind of equipment they purchased. A cheap harness from Amazon, Calexotics, Adam and Eve, or Doc Johnson might be good for the budget, but uncomfortable to wear, hard to use and position the toy painfully over the pubic bone. The dildo might be toxic, because toy manufacturers commonly lie on the label with impunity (that $8 dildo is decidedly not 100% silicone).
Too Big of a Dildo
Both parties may overestimate the size of dildo that is suitable for a beginner. When you see porn videos with huge toys, your ability to judge a good beginner size can be skewed. Sometimes the receiver will make a completely erroneous connection between taking a bigger toy and masculinity. They might fear that selecting a smaller toy somehow implies they are not masculine. Kind of like 'I can take it like a manly man', or 'go big or go home'. Or the giver may want to satisfy their fantasy of pegging their partner with a large toy, not realizing how important it is to start small.
Bad Lube
The lube they choose might ruin the cheap dildo they didn't realize they bought. The lube might have preservatives that cause burning, or sugar substances that encourage yeast infections. They might not use enough (or any!) lube and opt for spit instead (because that's the way they do it in porn, right?).
Speak Up!
Both parties may lack good communication skills in the bedroom. The receiver may think they just have to lay there and take it, even if it doesn't feel all that great. They might decide to practice stoicism and just endure it, as opposed to guiding their partner to what feels pleasurable. The giver may become frustrated because the receiver isn't having any reactions to all the (often significant) effort they are making to do this pegging thing, so what's the point!? All the cleaning out and lube in the world won't fix that problem. Communication is essential.
Expect The Unexpected
The receiver's lack of erection might frighten them both - did we break something? Givers who look for an erection as a measure of their partner's enjoyment will often be disappointed. Receivers might be upset at their inability to get hard. Also - the receiver's vulnerability might startle them both - what the fuck is happening here?! If the receiver has an emotional reaction (which happens to some receivers), it might freak them both out.
Education
Pegging preparation really is a lot more than just attending to cleanliness and making sure the ass in question can accept the toy. While those two factors are very important, education can be empowering, inspirational, calm fears, and prevent injuries! Why not learn all the 'ins and outs' of pegging before grabbing that strap-on and shoving it in!?
Interested in learning more about Pegging?
I offer FREE Webinars (Beginners, Equipment and Advanced) as a service to the Pegging community, for all bodies and all budgets. For more info, and a schedule of upcoming Webinars:
