Just about every day, as the awareness of and interest in pegging sweeps around the world, I receive a question from someone full of concerns, questions, fears and most of all, misconceptions. The same themes present over and over again. While these themes can each be explored in depth, here are the short answers....

For Her...

No, he's NOT GAY

♥ No, he does not want a man to replace you
♥ No, he does not secretly want a cock
♥ No, pegging him will not magically turn him gay
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

((If he is bisexual, disregard this one)

No, it doesn't hurt.

♥ Yes it feels good
♥ As long as you do it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, you will not look ridiculous wearing a strap-on

♥ He will think you look hot, I guarantee
♥ Are you kidding? He's been fantasizing about this...
♥ So hot he might come just looking at you
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No it is not humiliating
♥ No it is not degrading
♥ No he does not have to dress like a woman
♥ No you don't have to yell at him and hit him
♥ He just wants you to fuck him in the ass
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer - if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

For Him

No, you are NOT GAY

♥ No, wanting to be pegged does not make you gay
♥ No, being pegged will not magically turn you gay
♥ Yes, you still love breasts and pussies
♥ Which means you are not gay
♥ Even though you want her to fuck you in the ass
♥ It's all okay
♥ Honest

(If you are bisexual - disregard this one)

No, it doesn't hurt

♥ Yes. it feels good
♥ As long as she does it right
♥ Really good
♥ Honest

No, it will not compromise your masculinity

♥ Yes, she will respect you in the morning
♥ Yes, you can continue being a man's man
♥ It's all okay
♥ Honest

No, pegging is not like the pegging in porn

♥ No humiliation
♥ No degradation
♥ No feminization
♥ No verbal and physical abuse
♥ She really can just fuck you in the ass
♥ Without all that stuff
♥ Honest

(Disclaimer - if you are into any of these kinks, disregard this one)

So if those are all the things pegging is not, then what is pegging?

Yes, pegging is hot, hot sex

♥ Surprising Intensity
♥ Amazing Discovery
♥ Deeper Intimacy
♥ Fascinating Role Reversal
♥ Another Way to Make Love!

This message of reassurance has been brought to you by and

Need more reassurance? Listen to this!

A podcast for the women which explores more of this in depth, as well as touching on relationship issues is available here.

16 Responses

  1. I agree with a lot of that but we live a Femdom marriage so it’s slightly different when I take Stephie however as far as just plain pegging goes your spot on I’d say!

  2. Hello Madam,

    I want to discuss a weird situation. I am a married man, who has a good suceessful career and a happy healthy life. I married my college friend about a year ago. I found her very beautiful and attractive. Moreover she was kind, caring, loving, independent and courageous woman. This made me fall in love with her. She revealed that she fell for me because of my good looks, self confidence, courage, wisdom, voice and kindness. We have been a normal couple since the start. However of late she has started behaving weirdly, such as hitting me on my bum, caressing my bum, touching my lips with her fingers, and trying to do stuff that I normally do, such as repair work, minor plumbing etc. It feels as if she want to take over my position or something. Few days back she just crossed all barriers and brought a strapon dildo and kept it on my study table. and looked into my eyes with a stern, domineering look with a naughty smirk. That day I blasted her and she hid that thing somewhere out of my sight. I have not spoken to her since 4 days. I feel insulted. I do not understand what has happened to her. Is this normal behaviour? How can she ask me to do this? Could you please help?

    1. Well, it’s not only the role reversal inherent in the act that attracts many, it’s straight-up prostate pleasure, letting go of or having more control, sexual exploration, and orgasms.

  3. But what is the reason that more and more men are wanting to get fucked nowadays? I mean, men are the ones that have penis. They are naturally made to fuck rather than get fucked. More and more straight men are wanting to get fucked by ladies. What is the reason for this kind of a trend lately? How has that become a turn on for men?
    (I am myself a male who get fucked by a lady. My lady disallows me from using my penis to carry out intercourse with her. Rather she is the one who has the right to fuck me.But the desire to be a receiver, the desire to be feminine rather than masculine, the desire to be the weaker one (or more aptly weak and meek), the desire to be called weak and meek,the desire to be submissive, to be called pretty, to be touched in ways women like to be touched and feel aroused by that… all this despite being straight is something I myself cannot explain)

  4. Dear Ma’am,
    I am a straight male and recently turned 18. Just a young boy… I have had knowledge about your website for a while but have not been able to pop out this question.. I am just a bit shy in saying this. I have had a major crush since I was 15 on my neighbour who is in her 30s. I really get the rush upon seeing her. She makes me so weak in the knees.. I feel I would just faint.. She is so beautiful! However, the kind of feelings I have are sort of girly… I mean I feel shy and intimidated by her.. Especially when she says Hi to me or taps her hand on my head in a friendly manner. I feel that I want to be her boytoy…her girl.. not boy… i hope u understand… I mean I do not want to fuck her but get fucked by her.. How should I go about it?

    Lex Rogers

  5. Hi Ruby,
    Im new to this and originally my fiance and I tried for the first time I was extremely hesitate but intrigued. It was quite awkward but I caught myself thinking more about it. Fast forward 4 years the experimentation became more driven by me and now she is more hesitant to perform the act. I was reluctant then boom when I had I first prostate orgasm I was so shocked of the result. I now catch myself asking for it more and more and now and just not interested. We communicate well and I reassure her that I just enjoy the intimacy we share when we do participate in the act. I have no interest in trying this with anyone else but her but for some reason I sense she is not being truthful with me. Have a ruined an incredible experience with my significant other even though she was so insistent at the beginning?

  6. This is for all the guys out there. Pegging will not “make” you gay. What it can do is open up a whole new way living. I enjoy having such wonderful orgasms when I am pegged. And yes, it has opened me up to “BI” side, but I hate labels, I just prefer ‘Sexual.’ Regarding the pegging, my wife likes being “in charge.'” Benefits for me? Like I said, just absolutely fantastic orgasms. Also, I feel more physically fit. I feel like a more complete man, as I now have bigger, better (and more of them) erections. An added bonus is that I also produce more cum.

  7. Please help me out. me and my bf are not really new to anal play but we’ve never really researched much on it. He used to love anal more than traditional sex and ive always only ever liked fucking a guy and never really liked traditional stuff before him. it has been 3 months that he started disliking it but didnt tell me coz he didnt want mt to leave him. i never noticed cause me are ldr and now its been a month since he has been in the army. he first told me about this only a week ago and revealed how he may never want it. i ofc accepted him even tho i dont know how ill be fully sexually satisfied and seems like he understands it too. so, he said he’ll try fingering himself again this weekend. i want to make it comfortable and enjoyable for him. i am so lost especially since i wont be able to contact him at all till then coz of military stuff. how do i make sure he loves it once again? i love him so much

    1. Sounds like you found an answer to your question already. Whenever a partner says no to something they previously enjoyed, it’s quite fair to ask why. In fact it’s essential, if you want to understand their decision better. So many people are afraid to tell their partners things for fear of their reaction. This can backfire because the partners know something’s up and can see the change in behavior, but don’t have an explanation why. Pain is an excellent reason to take a break from anal – it should never hurt. Pain is also a valid reason to go see a doctor. I’t possible that hemorrhoids are the cause, and he could have them removed. Doing Kegel exercises will help calm down hemorrhoids if they are internal.
      I know it was probably just your phrasing, but you cannot ‘make sure he loves it once again’. Hopefully he resolves the pain issue and returns to pegging, but he gets to decide what he does and doesn’t do in bed. It’s not up to you. All you can do is support him and try to work it out.

  8. adding to my earlier post. he doesnt like or enjoy it anymore cause he said it hurts. ive been told to make him see a doc. he barely has any free time but ill try that. thanks!

Leave a Reply