Newbie Ass Play

Attention Anal Newbies

Is your partner new at receiving ass play? Are you new at giving it?

This article is for you givers who want advice on how to start exploring your receiver's ass (before you don that strap-on and go for the pegging).

Preparation

• Brush up on your in-bed communication skills if you need to because the most important part about all of this is to stay in communication with each other.
• Look at a map of the prostate gland and get a general idea of where it is located.
• Make sure your fingernails are non-existent. Or push cotton balls into the fingers of a glove with a pen and wear the glove.
• Receiver needs to be fresh out of the shower. Exterior - Simple soap and rinse of their anal area will leave it clean for play. At this point you need to take into consideration the sensitivities of the couple. If either of you are freaked out about encountering a small amount of fecal matter they can rinse their rectal canal with this while in the shower.  An enema is not necessary. If you are both less sensitive to small messes and are okay with that very occasionally being part of the territory, skip the rinse out and just make sure the receiver's bowels are empty. Have wipes or towels handy and you are golden!
• Don't be drunk or significantly altered, be fully present. Limit yourself to one drink if either of you need it to relax.

Getting down to it

• Remember to have fun and don't rush.
• Do some foreplay before going straight for the ass. Foreplay! Kissing, a little bit of a blowjob or handjob so they are hard and excited; in a state where normally they would be ready to fuck you.
• Then, they needs to lie down and relax. Face down with a pillow underneath their hips is usually most comfortable to receive and for you to explore.
• Rimming if you are into it is a great way to start. It feels amazing and is a great precursor to anal exploration. The tongue feels so warm and cozy that you just want to open up your ass and let it in. This is good because that's exactly what needs to happen. So have fun with the rimming if you're down with that.
• Get out the lube and apply liberally.
• This next part use gloves if you have short fingernails or if you just prefer them for anal play.
• Play with the receiver's ass with one finger pushing in just a little ways and then back out, slowly. Do that for a while. Sometimes they will ask for more. Gradually push your longest finger into their ass all the way. Remember where the prostate is; in this position it is in and down. You should just be able to reach it with your longest finger. You are trying to feel a round firm place about the size of a walnut. It is easier to feel if they are turned on. Stroke it gently, not too hard. The prostate is a gland, so poking it won't feel good. Sometimes it is hard to find so don't worry if you can't locate it right away. The more excited they are the easier it will be to find because it begins to fill with fluid. (Rare, but some givers cannot reach the prostate because their fingers are not long enough.)
• While your finger is inside him you can put your thumb on their taint and push or rub gently there, too. This basically lets you stimulate the prostate from inside and outside.
• Experiment gently with faster, slower, stroking in different directions, firmer or softer pressure and get their feedback about what they likes best. Try to get really good at exactly what they prefer.
• If it is comfortable for them, gently and slowly push in another finger. When I say slowly, I mean centimeters at a time. You can use your other hand to play with their balls, rub their ass or their back. Keep it sensual.
• Instead of continuing to push your fingers in relentlessly, stop when you sense the pressure is too much or they ask you to wait for a bit. Back out and than go back in. Tease the ass; giving the receiver a chance to open up more.
• If they cannot take another finger, they might want to stop there and continue exploring the next night (or day). This is perfectly okay! More time for anticipation and gradual exploration.
• If they have had enough ass play - then continue your play in your favorite way. Afterwards talk about how the ass play felt, what you both liked best, if there was anything that you didn't like and ask questions if you have them. Talk about what you want to try next time.

If your receiver wants to keep going

• You can either use a butt plug or a dildo, whichever you have. No larger in diameter than 1.25", smaller is fine. Make sure the toy is anal safe with a flared base and non-toxic. This is a good one. Hold it in your hand - it's too soon for the harness.
• Reapply lube. (Do this often with fingers and toys, whenever you even think you need it. Anal penetration feels so much better with a lot of lube.)
• When you penetrate their anus with the toy, once again go very slowly. Initial penetration technique is important so listen up - Push until you feel that resistance or they say to wait, and then stop pushing. Do not back off and do not push forward, just stay there. This is important because when their sphincter opens if you are still pushing forward you can all of a sudden push it abruptly all the way inside - not fun. Perhaps you've had that happen to you?
• If you can feel them pushing back to meet you, you know that it's okay to go forward. Or you can always ask!
• Do not bottom out hard - this can feel bad in the beginning. Depends on how long your toy is and how much their ass can handle. Don't be in a hurry to push it all the way inside. The prostate isn't that far in anyway and that's usually where it feels the best.
• Once in, just hold it there for a bit - 30 - 45 seconds or so. Let them get used to the feel of it.
• Begin to stroke in and out very slowly.
• Talk to your partner - feel okay? Do you like me fucking your ass? Do you want more? Try to keep it sexy instead of clinical.
• Remember where the prostate is. Experiment with changing the angle of the toy to see if it will feel better in different positions (this is what cock owners who are good lovers do when they are fucking).
• At this point they may want to get up on their knees so that they have more freedom to move and add to the motion.
• DO NOT WORRY if they are not hard! This is common. If you are concerned whether they is having a good time or not - just ask.
• Talk to the receiver. Keep going? Harder/softer/faster/slower?
• Ask them if their cock wants attention (if they haven't already got it in their hand). Many receivers say yes - some say no because cock stimulation can interfere with the delicious sensations of the prostate.

If they wants cock stimulation

• Here you can decide to keep going and give the receiver a hand job (if they want that or want to do it themselves) or have them turn over and lay on their back for a hand job/blowjob. They may be ready to turn over if they have been on their stomach and/or knees a while.

If they stays on their knees

• You can either kneel on the bed on one side so that you can use the dildo and stroke their cock more easily or you can stay behind them and reach around for his cock - whatever works.

If they turn over

• Your position will be on your knees with your legs spread so that your knees are on the outside of their hips and under his bent knees. This position will give you a balance point so that you can use the dildo with one hand and give a blowjob or hand job with the other. Again - if they wants to stroke their own cock - rock on.

An Orgasm in Not Necessary

• Just go with whatever feels right with the receiver. Some cannot get hard or orgasm when something is in their ass. Some get rock hard the moment anything is in their ass. Don't make orgasm the goal, have it be about the pleasure of the exploration, the fun of trying something new and the amazing sensations you can find along the way.

Here's why I went into so much detail with this topic. Because when you finally strap on, givers, the learning curve is steep because you were not born with a cock. You don't know how to move, balance, make it do what you want. Takes practice. So if you take the time to explore your receiver's ass in the manner described above, you will already have a sense of what you are trying to duplicate with your strap-on. You've figured out what they love with your fingers and holding that dildo in your hand. That is why these steps are so important for pegging newbies!

Sure, you can just go down to the local toy store and get some equipment, come home and dive in and it might turn out okay or it might turn out badly. The thing is, you will both be missing so much potential pleasure. Sexual exploration is not something to be rushed. It is best done relaxed, playfully, curiously, with lots of communication and luxuriating in every moment of new sensation.

©Ruby Ryder