Enjoy this post from a friend on FetLife.com...(where you can find conversations about pretty much any kink there is!) Nice to have something from the male point of view...
As a guy who really enjoys everything about strap-ons, to the point of distraction at times, I think about this very question way too much. 🙂
Think of what follows in the spirit of a condensed market analysis. And I apologize for the innuendos.
- What's the goal? Easy, introduce a new concept to a new group, raise awareness in an existing group, and drive all of them from the unsure/unknown left side of the curve to underneath the big bell of mainstream acceptance.
- Is there a market? Tricky...unit sales are not a great indicator, not because of the cloudy F2F presence, but because for this exercise, buying a strap-on takes you out of our target. If you've bought in, you're not a target anymore.
- What are our challenges? There are the usual very valid points…
- Men think it’s gay or will turn them gay
- Women think it’s gay or will turn their men gay
- Sexual repression
- Taboo = Subsequent social repercussions
- Lack of Information = Assumptions
- Porn Stereotypes = More Assumptions
But I think there are a few other things to consider...
- Casual vs. Committed--this has been worked to death, but the simple truth is that there is a real population of men just looking for the real "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" (perspective is everything in truisms, isn't it). How do we differentiate that message from the sensual, sharing, loving message of intimate strap-on sex? Or are we talking about two different target audiences? Anecdotal evidence says that there are at least two. Which is easier to drive towards the mainstream?
- No Spontaneity - Speaking of casual, the internet tells us that a woman can literally walk up to a random man, bend him over and drive pseudo balls deep. Then it ignores the mechanical fact that most of the good Dr. Johnsons' products won't fit in a purse, plus that there are very few women who would socially wear the clothes required to "pack" a functional toy. (I look forward to your comments) So, assuming it's as simple as your place or mine....the fiery passion moves to ..."You know what would be super hot?" And somebody is diving into drawers or under the bed, pulling out leather, silicone, lube by the gallon, don't forget a Fleet or two, and a trip or two to the bathroom....The truth? There is no such thing as spontaneous strap-on play. For all the talk of meeting up, giving it up, taking it, whatever....if you ask either side of that lovely 8" fake cock about the time that they skipped the 20-30 minutes of prep...they will immediately let you know that they will never do that again! And yes, a lot can be called foreplay, but there are significant steps that really should be accomplished separately.
- Perceived Consequences - Lump gay/not gay, D/s, Mistress of Pain/what the fuck is that whip for stuff together....and there are still other things to consider. There is no escaping the feeling of "Holy crap, she's wild like me! Wait, that can't be good...why the hell does she have her own strap-on?" Or my favorite because it works both ways..."So is everybody going to look at me as the strap-on bitch"/"Am I the girl that everyone knows is down for the kinky shit?" Add to that the lingering specter of girl talk....it's a petri dish of self inflicted insecurities. Simple analogy....strap-ons are not a keg stand, they're heroin. Now, go sell that to a stranger!
So what to do? Well, it is simple. We have to:
- Invent a strap-on that collapses into nothing, but swells up rigid on demand. If/when the opportunity arises.
- Eliminate a lifetime of biases and phobias (everything discussed prior)
- Introduce new practices, techniques and preparations that calm fear of consequences and promote casual experimentation
How do we do all that? One person at a time, one person at a time.
No, seriously, I think the real answer is to be ready to reap what you sow.
If having a woman fuck your ass so deep that your prostate feels like it is going to shoot through your chest, driving your pleasure centers beyond all reason, makes you collapse in a pool of sweat, a possible tear and a rapidly cooling pool of cum....you should be willing to risk a few awkward ewws, plus I guarantee that if you are non-creepy, at least one of eww girl's friends will at least broach the topic with you with a gleam in her eye. And once that happens...for God's sake, deliver!
If you're the empowered woman who knows she can fuck a guy so thoroughly, so well that every muscle in his body cramps as he screams your name, turning his body inside out for you...tell him. Any woman that throws that into conversation has my full attention. Might not keep it, but she has it for that moment. And you need to be cool with the idea that there are going to be a bunch of women/men who fear you, and play stupid isolation games. If you're faking your way through....it will turn out poorly.
Finally, when you find someone who fills out the other side of the cock...do it as hard and as often as possible. And be loud...eventually your neighbors will talk...and they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends....and soon enough, we'll all have more opportunities to introduce someone to our delicious kink. Represent!
