Fucking Contract

Encountered this lovely piece of creative exampleship of a GGG relationship on Reddit/sex forum. Everyone unanimously agreed that this man was lucky as fuck to have a girlfriend so amazing. I read this and was so charmed. I love the spirit behind it. I love the clear, playful communication even more. Talk to each other, people. Sex....and making love...can be so much fun!

It’s A Fucking Contract...see what I did here?

I, __(the man)_, hereby solemnly swear that I will endeavor to bring to __(the woman)__, all the pleasure I possibly can until death do us part. I promise to eat her tight little pussy until she begs me to stop and finally fuck her. I promise that I will balance out fucking with lovemaking, but I also swear to sex her at least once daily. I adhere to the agreement to christen (AKA “fuck upon”) every horizontal surface in every new living place (e.g., apartment, house, duplex, cottage, condo, mansion, hotel room, etc.), as well as some of the diagonals and as many verticals as we decide are fuckworthy. I swear I will be patient with her as she figures out how to give me the best blowjobs of my life, as she learns how to strip for me, and how to give me excruciatingly hot lap dances. I will do my best to let her initiate frequently, and I promise I will let her be on top sometimes, too. I swear I will not push her further than she is willing, but I also promise to encourage her to relax and try new things because hot damn some stuff is really awesome that might not seem like it a first (e.g., anal stimulation). I promise to masturbate for her and show her my cock to tease her. I swear that I will keep myself groomed because nobody likes double standards. I understand that my cock is perfect and I am not to ever complain about its size because let’s be honest, no girl wants to get fucked with a Pringles can and she loves my cock as is. I promise that I will not necessarily stop at one orgasm. I swear I will practice and work as long as it takes to make her squirt, barring instances of carpal tunnel syndrome, at which point I will go to the doctor and not make man-excuses. Under no circumstance am I to use the word “dude” whilst mid-fuck, nor any other brojectives that would break the mood. I promise to cuddle, snuggle, canoodle, and/or spoon after sex whenever possible. I will refrain from using words like “bitch”, “slut”, “whore”, etc, because she is none of those things (though “cum-fucktoy” is definitely a-okay), and I will never, ever do surprise anal, because that is mean and will hurt like a bitch. I promise to always tell her she is the hottest thing, because she really really likes hearing that and it makes her feel very sexy and want to please me. I promise that I will love the taste of her. I swear that I will endeavor to fulfill as many of her fantasies as physically possible, as she will do her best to fulfill mine. I promise to be gentle the first few times, and to be understanding if things don’t go perfectly because I know she’s a little worried about that. I will do my best to include a goodly amount of foreplay, even when rubbing each other off isn’t the best we can do. I pledge to make out with her more. And, above all, I promise that I will always tell her that I love her during/after our mindblowing fuck sessions. I understand that in order to get what I want, I must be open and communicative about my expectations and desires, but also willing to compromise because she is not a blow-up doll and there are some things that just aren’t physically possible. I affirm that I, the undersigned, am of good health and sound mind, and testify that I agree to all tenets of the above contract.

Signed __(the man)____(Date ) Co-sign/Witness ___(the woman)___( Date )