Okay, so Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Listen up, all you people with partners! You need to remember something. Please keep in mind Dan Savage's sage advice for Valentine's Day:
Fuck First
Think about it. All kinds of people are making reservations at crowded restaurants to eat a lot of delicious food and drink a lot of alcohol...in celebration of their love. After the dinner, dessert and alcohol these couples go home and try to muster some energy for fucking, which often doesn't happen. Why? Your body is busy digesting all that food you ate, first of all.
And let's talk about the alcohol part...
From Wikipedia "Alcohol and Sex":
"The effects of alcohol are balanced between its suppressive effects on sexual physiology, which will decrease sexual activity, and its suppression of psychological inhibitions, which will increase the desire for sex."
Oh great - sounds to me like your body will physiologically respond less but you will want it more! That's fucked up. More importantly - it can fuck up your Valentine's Day. You or your partner will perhaps be unable to find the energy to fuck, or your performance will likely be lackluster. On the Love Holiday of the year one would ideally be giving their best performance, right? Well, that's not going to happen with all that crap in your stomach and the alcohol you drank.
Unfortunately, what often ensues is hand wringing and doubts about your relationship. After all...if your partner can't put in a good performance on the most important Love Holiday of the year...WTF?
So please, everyone...Fuck First! Send your kids over to the babysitter's house early and make your dinner reservations late. I guarantee you...dinner will be much more enjoyable; you'll both have that rosy glow. Then after your romantic meal, the dessert and the wine (or whatever you are drinking), you can head home, climb into bed and fall asleep in each other's arms. Nice.
