Monthly Gay Announcement

Hello all you lovely pegging enthusiasts as well as you people who have found Pegging Paradise because you are intrigued.

I just want to remind everyone that contrary to the knee-jerk reaction of the majority of people who first learn about pegging:

Pegging Does Not Mean a Man is Gay

Pegging is a heterosexual act. Anything done between a man and a woman is by definition heterosexual.

Just because it involves the anal region, please do not make the completely incorrect assumption that all men who like anal stimulation somehow magically prefer the opposite sex. They do not. Far from it.

The words straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian (and others that I am not as familiar with, I must admit) are all labels that describe which gender a person is attracted to and prefers to have sex with. Did you get that? Which gender a person is attracted to and prefers to have sex with...

The type of sexual play one engages in does not determine that label. Which gender a person is attracted to and engages sexually with determines the label.

So gentlemen - let go of the homophobic fears if you have just discovered you love anal stimulation.

So ladies - let go of the ridiculous notion that just because your man loves anal play he is somehow not attracted to you anymore or automatically gay.

I'm going to say it again.

Pegging is Not Gay

And for all you (probably younger) people who are more fluid in your sexuality, bisexual or don't identify with labels regarding sexuality and are reading this thinking ...Duh, I salute you.

This public service announcement will be repeated on a monthly basis in an effort to deconstruct the myth that men who enjoy pegging are somehow, inherently gay.

8 Responses

  1. You may have to repeat your “Pegging Is Not Gay” announcement more frequently. The vast majority of people immediately assume it indicates repressed gayness. Even some of the Web-based sex advisers mention that possibility. I think male heterosexual anal-receptive sex is the most misunderstood sex there is. Kudos to you for trying to do something about that.

    1. Dave – I am tempted to post this notice more regularly. Just don’t want to annoy my readers.

      The vast majority of people immediately assume it indicates repressed gayness.

      Too true. Even a lesbian friend of mine had that first assumption…and she does her girlfriend with a strap-on! Yikes.

  2. Oy vey!

    Fellatio is the Number One, highest frequency sexual activity practiced between gay guys, but NO ONE EVER would conclude that a guy who likes to be blown and sucked by a woman is somehow gay because gay guys also do that particular action.

    Thus, pegging is no more a gay activity than fellatio is.

    1. I know, right? Well said. My favorite one (which you know if you have read my stuff) is:
      A guy getting fucked with a strap-on has as much of a chance of turning him gay as a lesbian getting fucked with a strap-on turning her straight.

      One thing that bothers me with all this discussion, too, is that the people who are connecting the word “gay” with pegging say it like it’s an anathema or something. Please. Gay guys rock.

  3. Hi Ruby,

    Yes, I have been puzzled about this aspect as well. Some days I walk into my bathroom and there are 5 anal plugs and a couple of dildos drying out and I’m like “maybe I just want cock?” But I don’t think so. It just really feels great.
    And why shouldn’t I find out what feels good?
    I have been almost a total stranger to my own feelings or admitting that I even have feelings and now I really enjoy being sensitive and opening up. (if people only knew how much I can open up) 🙂

    BTW, I really liked your piece on slut shaming. Your words of encouragement for self exploration are enlightening!

    1. LOL – your plugs and dildos.
      There are indeed men who have tried out the “real thing” after exploring pegging. I don’t have even a guess at the percentages, but some men do become bi-curious as to what a real cock would feel like. Some love it and discover they are truly bisexual. Some love it, but don’t really want any other romantic type of interaction with men like kissing or BJs; they just like the cock. I don’t really get that but I think that’s because men just look at sex differently than women in that it can be more detached and unemotional. Other men try out a real cock and just don’t like being with a guy so they never do it again. And other guys have a strong avoidance for the opposite gender and would never think of trying it out in real life even if it occasionally creeps into their fantasies. I have yet to hear of a guy who completely switched camps and found out he was gay but I’m sure there is a guy somewhere that has happened to.

      Re the slut-shaming piece – thank you. I really enjoyed writing that piece and bringing a sense of cohesiveness to the ideas and opinions floating around in my head.

  4. I commented on a topic you wrote a while back that said..if two older, attractive gay men walked into my room naked..what would I do? Although, (labeled) hetero,I am 99% sure I’d go for it! I am sure there are 100% hetero’s out there…but that would be one hell of a test.

    I have been pegging a little less than two years now. (late bloomer) I have always had a bit of bi-curiosity in me. pegging actually allows me to gender-bend for a while and act out some bi-curious thoughts in my head. I enjoy the verbal activity of calling it her cock, her balls…while she is pegging me. Plus, we use a realistic dildo. She wears a sexy tank top and it covers the strap-on and it is a major turn-on to her that it looks like it is attached and looks so real going in and out of me. She’s as visual as I am. It is still my wife giving me pleasure. (extreme pleasure)

    So, yes, I am still hetero….with a slight lean towards bicurious. And, it isn’t as if Gay is a Bad thing. All cultures have good and bad members in them, whether it is a Gay group, the Peace Corps or a Political group. Most Gays I have met and known are generous and caring people.

    Although we communicate very well, I have never communicated to my wife my bicurious thoughts…but that is another topic for another day. 🙂

    1. Hey Bob – I was thinking about you when these comments started because I remember you commenting on that fantasy of my friend – the two older men. I think the reason sexuality is more “fluid” for women, as Dan Savage puts it, is because society more easily accepts bisexual women than bisexual men. So the repercussions are more severe for men who are open about their interest in other men than women with women.

      Thankfully – the younger people are changing that. I love what I am seeing in them!

      “And, it isn’t as if Gay is a Bad thing.”
      I’m so glad you said that – instead of a man who enjoys pegging when accused of being gay adamantly responding no he’s not – what would it be like if he said…”So what if I am?”

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