Monthly Misconception Alert

Pegging - an act where a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate the anus of a man, heterosexually!

Because, by definition, anything a man and woman do together is heterosexual.


Ahhh...if only it were that simple.

I've been writing about pegging and practicing pegging for long enough that at this point it's a bit of a shock when I hear the "that's gay" reaction to heterosexual strap-on sex. The sad thing is, I keep hearing it.

So here is your monthly pegging is not gay reminder.

If you just found Pegging Paradise and the "that's gay" reaction is hiding somewhere in your awareness...this message is for you.

Perhaps you are a woman whose man has requested to explore pegging...and you're not sure what to think.

Perhaps you are a man who has just discovered the joys of his own ass and is wondering about your own sexuality.

Maybe you are a woman who is really freaked out because your guy wants you to strap on a cock, for heaven's sake! WTF?

Maybe you are a friend of a woman who just confided to you that she and her guy are exploring pegging and your knee-jerk reaction is that he will leave her for a guy.

Maybe you are a guy who has discovered that your ass can give you amazing amounts of pleasure, but you don't want your friends or your woman to think you are gay so you're going to walk away from the whole ass stimulation thing.

Important Points

1) Anal sex is not owned by homosexual men, in fact only around 35% of homosexual men even have anal sex!! Please do not make the completely incorrect assumption that male anal stimulation is always homosexual in orientation.

2) The area of your body that you enjoy having stimulated has absolutely no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating.

3) If a woman fucks a guy up the ass with a strap-on there is no magic gay fairly that sprinkles gay dust on him and presto, he suddenly wants hairy, muscled, masculine bodies.


Just enjoy it, people. It's simply one more way to make love together. Take a deep breath and relax.

Ass play can be hot with women, right? Guess can be really hot with men, too!

From my perspective, a man who asks to be pegged is quite brave to come up against the powerful misconceptions and have the courage to ask for what turns him on. Now that's a man who is self-assured about his sexuality. He's a keeper.

If you need more convincing - please go to the tag cloud on the right and click on "is he gay?" and keep reading until you can let go of the ridiculous notion that a man who enjoys pegging must be a homosexual.

This public service announcement will be repeated on a monthly basis in an effort to deconstruct the myth that men who enjoy pegging are somehow, inherently gay.



8 Responses

  1. What a shame that “gay” still = “bad” in some people’s minds. Darn good thing that masturbating isn’t considered gay, or a bunch of men would feel compelled to chop their hands off. That’s my analogy for the day… saying “no” to pegging because of the gay fairy dust thing is like chopping off your hand for no good reason.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Tom. Sexuality is not a binary concept and many times there is no hard line between gay and straight. Bisexual or bi-curious men sometimes allow those parts of their sexuality out, if they are indeed there, once they find out how much pleasure their ass can bring them.

      This makes the whole ‘he’s not gay’ reassurance thing awkward, because it is indeed possible that a man will uncover bisexual parts of his sexuality that he may never have considered if he had not tried pegging.

      I, too, am sad to see that prevalent attitudes are still more that gay=bad instead of gay=that person’s sexual orientation. See…if more people admitted to whatever degree of bisexuality they feel this whole gay or straight thing would eventually become a moot point. Because most of us would fall somewhere in between.

      1. Fabulous points. I’d love to see the word “gay” go back to meaning “light hearted and carefree.”

        How’s this for a bumper sticker…

        “Sexuality Is Not A Binary Concept”

  2. First, thank you for the great podcast!

    Do you know if that 35% number is “ever” or “regularly”. I thought I heard Charles Glickman say “regularly” while you frequently say “ever” or “even”. That’s a big difference. Thanks!

    1. Quoted directly from the study…by George mason university, results published in an article on Huffington post.

      “Anal intercourse occurred among less than half of participants (37.2%) and was most common among” men ages 18–24 (42.7%).

      Not 35 – though it varied with different age groups

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