No, I won't be reading the book. Warning - incoming rant!
I came across Zachary Zane in 2016, because I have a Google alert for the word pegging. He’d written something positive enough for me to form a favorable opinion of him and follow him on social media. I even wrote a short article about him on my blog citing his persuasive and somewhat eloquent quote about encouraging men to explore pegging.
In March of 2019, color me surprised to receive this:
Hi Ruby,
I’m writing an article for Men’s Health about pegging. I was hoping you
might be able to discuss your research with me, and put me in touch with men
who’d be open to discussing their affinity for pegging. (Of course, all
names will be changed for the article.)Let me know!
Thanks,
Zachary Zane
I replied (note - article linked to has been removed - dead link):
Lovely to receive your message.
Your writing was the focus of one of my posts, actually:
https://peggingparadise.com/blog/2016/04/hey-guys-unsure-about-exploring-your-ass-listen-to-what-this-guy-has-to-say/Happy to help you. In exchange I need a referral link in the article.
I received this reply:
Cool to be featured in your blog!
Happy to link to your site in the article. Would love to grab a quick
quote from you about why all men should explore being pegged. (Maybe 4–5 sentences).I would also appreciate if you could reach out to your contacts and set
up an e-intro with any man who’d be willing to answer a few questions
about their affinity for being pegged. (Names will be changed in the Men’s
Health piece.) That’s where I’m struggling the most for this article.
After reaching out to everyone I know, I only have 4 men willing to speak
about their experiences being pegged, where I need to get up to at least
7, and ideally 10.
So I connect him up with the men, and also send him this for my quote:
Pegging allows you to experience sex from the opposite side of the bed,
and let me tell you, women have a pretty sweet deal. At its essence,
pegging offers you an opportunity to revel in your sweet, soft parts; the
ones that society typically doesn’t want you to express. You get to take a
break from the expectations of being strong, in charge, and in control.
Vulnerability and receiving are the order of the day, and the role
reversal often results in a deeper intimacy between you and your partner.
If that’s not enough, guys, consider that extra-powerful orgasms, multiple
orgasms, whole-body orgasms, and prostate health are all potential
benefits of pegging, too.
All good so far, right? That’s when it all went to shit.
The article comes out.
Nowhere in the article is my quote, the one he asked me for. Okay — there was no promise, and sometimes things get cut. Especially in short, sensationalistic article formats like Men’s Health that seem designed for short attention spans and continued clicks.
But nowhere in the article is the link he promised me, either.
I have to work to get in touch with him because my emails are now getting kicked back with an auto response that he is traveling. I find a way to message him on a social media platform asking about the link and he finally responds, saying that he would put the link in.
A few days later I check back and discover this is how he linked to my website:
Six men told us why they love getting pegged (i.e., having a woman with a strap-on plow them). Four of these guys wished to remain anonymous, where two really wanted to use their real names. So go ahead ladies, have at them.
Not even my name.
I contacted him again and complained about the words he attached my link to. He brushed me off with an, “I’m sorry but there’s only so much my editors will let me do.”
And that was the end of our conversation about it. Perhaps I was a little intimidated, so I didn’t continue to protest. Flattered to be contacted by Zachary Zane, I did not expect to get fucked over by him. But sometimes that happens when people have power.
I also noticed that a friend of his, ‘Dominus Eros’ was an interviewee for the article. Zachary was careful to promote and link to his friend’s venue, ‘Pagan’s Paradise’, as well as the fact Dominus teaches a Pegging 101 class.
I’m not going to quibble about the similarity of the name of the venue (which now seems defunct) to my website Pegging Paradise (since 2010). It’s a great name for a kink club. And I am always happy when people are spreading the word about pegging. My issue is not with that link, venue or person. It’s with Zachary.
Zachary used me for my contacts, had no interest whatsoever in talking with me about my ‘research’, left out my quotes that he asked for, linked to and advertised his friend’s pegging classes, never used my name in the article and then attached my link to some crude words. Pretty fucked up, Zachary.
The original article is no longer up at Men’s Health. I couldn’t tell you why or how that happened. But you can view it in the wayback machine here. Yes, this really happened.
Seems like the original article in Men’s Health disappeared, was edited, and then re-posted on June 9, 2020. In this new version my link attached to the crude words vanished, and a quote about pegging appeared from ‘Cory B’, who did a short-lived podcast about sexuality. Then the article went on to use the exact same interviews as the original version. The newer, edited version is here.
I deleted the piece I wrote about Zachary on my blog, for obvious reasons. But it, too, still exists on the wayback machine here.
I tell anyone who says they are going to work with Zachary how he fucked me over and warn them to be careful, or even to avoid interacting with him entirely. Engage with him at your own risk.
In closing, one last thing I have to say regarding articles about pegging on high traffic websites like Men’s Health. It's sad that the website's quest for the bottom dollar makes the pegging equipment they link to the horrible cheap shit on Amazon. There is no care for the quality or even the user experience. In fact, it shows a real lack of respect and consideration for the person wearing the strapon… Similar to the lack of respect and consideration Zachary Zane showed me.
Not a fan. Won’t be reading his book.
