Inertia can be powerful. What does one do when encountering a persistent avoidance in handling, well, life?
That's the question I've been struggling with lately. I'm not talking about the basics of cooking, eating, taking care of my body, my home, and my pets. Not having problems with that stuff. I'm talking about returning phone calls, texts, emails, sometimes work-related and sometimes personal. I'm sure it has not escaped anyone's attention that I haven't recorded a podcast since February. I feel stuck and unwilling to engage. Instead, I escape with temporary gratification behaviors and kind of hide away from the world.
Why do I feel this overall avoidance and inertia?
Yes - that would be the question I ponder the most. The most in-my-face factor I immediately recognize would be politics and the election. Everything feels rather fraught. Am I buying into the fear-based media or is this unease I feel justified? Both. The stakes are huge, and mainstream media sucks.
I do find that when I listen to or read news that supports my POV, I feel better, briefly. Key word here is 'briefly'. Because the divisiveness, dishonesty, hate, and rhetoric being called out by the sources I pay attention to make me angry. I don't like being angry. So listening to people talk about it, even if it gives me a better understanding of what's going on, isn't helping; now I simply have a better understanding of how high the stakes are.
I remember as a kid, being incredulous that my dad listened to talk radio all the time. My young mind was puzzled as to why he would ever listen to people talking about stuff all day when the wonder of music could be enjoyed. And guess what? I find myself listening to people talking a lot. Just like my dad.
The older I get, the more I understand, and am interested in and invested in the world around me. Perhaps it has to do with getting older and thinking about what kind of world I'm leaving behind for the people I love. The gravity of that realization might be a contributing factor to everything feeling fraught, and my resulting inertia.
Over decades ago, I took an evening class through adult ed in Santa Barbara called Laughter For Living taught by Annette Goodheart. I'll never forget the first class, and her initial words to us after introducing herself.
"I assume you are all here because you want more laughter in your lives. My first suggestion to you is this: Stop watching the news. Most of it is negative. Think about when you listen to it. First thing in the morning? Not a good way to start your day. Before dinner? Not great for digestion. Before bed? Who wants to sleep after all that bad news? Turn off the news. All of it. And trust me, your friends will tell you if something big is happening.
I tested out that theory. Changing the station on the radio while driving when the new came on became automatic and reflexive. I canceled my newspaper subscription (this was almost 35 years ago). I didn't read headlines while in line at the market. And you know what? It worked. I felt calmer and more at ease.
And Goodheart's reassurance that I wouldn't be left in the dark if something big was going on were confirmed, too. At the time I lived with a partner who was addicted to sports TV, and literally had two TVs on at the same time, stacked atop each other, in the dining room.
I was in the living room reading and he called out, "Honey, I think something important is happening. It's on every channel." That was the Gulf War.
Over 3 decades later, Annette Goodheart's words echo in my head. Isolating myself from the ever-encroaching negative, fear-based news is significantly harder now. Part of this is due to what the media has become; big business, existing to make money and not to inform. News is for clicks, not for accuracy, and antagonistic scary negative news get clicks.
And then there is the sheer ubiquitousness of news. Social media, radio, podcasts, TV networks, texts and email all assault me with some kind of fraught-feeling news. Much harder to tune out than when I was younger because it really is everywhere.
So to start that journey toward feeling less like hiding from the world and more toward enjoying life and all it has to offer, today I am taking some steps.
- Cancelling the 3 political newsletters I subscribe to - done
- Canceling email notifications for Teen Vogue (amazing, btw) - done
- Keeping my subscription to Gurdeep Pandher magazine - highly recommended
- Signed up for a shot of good news every morning - trying it out
- Unfollowed on Spotify 2 MeidasTouch political podcasts - done
- No Threads scrolling before sleep or upon waking
- I will still be sending postcards to battleground states
That's a good start. I'm not recommending that everyone do this. We all get to choose our path. For me, it creates more space to fill with positivity, joy, pleasure, and goodness. And I will seek those out with vigor. For now I'm headed to the gym for that shot of endorphins.
And by the way, I discovered Annette Goodheart passed on in 2011. But I also learned this: "In 2005, at the age of 70, Annette decided she wanted one last grand adventure. She left Santa Barbara for San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, where she created yet another circle of friends, learned to speak Spanish, and painted her house an astonishing combination of colors." As an active 67 year old, I admire and aspire to that level of verve and brave authenticity.
In closing... My life mantra is this: In each and every moment we all have a choice whether to contract with fear or expand with love. My goal is to conquer and let go of the fear so I can get on with expanding my life with love! Hopefully soon I will feel less inertia and more motivation to connect back up, answer your questions and even drop a podcast.
Lots of love to you all,
Ruby
