Do Me a “Favor”…

Several times lately I have come across the concept of a woman having little interest in doing something sexually to her guy because she "doesn't get anything out of it".

The first time I ran across this attitude was when a woman on one forum board wrote that if she wasn't getting an orgasm out of it, she wasn't interested in doing it. She was actually talking about pegging! Now, besides the fact that some women do orgasm while pegging...there are a lot of things that fit into that category besides just about anything other than her guy is fucking her or doing something to her that gives her an orgasm. That remark impressed me as a very selfish attitude for a lover to have.

I mean, certainly there are things that a man might want me to do to him that would "do nothing" for me...a short cruise around FetLife and just about anyone must admit that. So I guess I can understand it from that perspective. We all have our hard limits and our favorites and the stuff that falls in between that one partner might enjoy a lot more than the other.

But...blow jobs? A woman wrote on a forum board just today that most women don't get anything out of giving a blow job, so it's like a "favor" for their guy. What?

So...when her guy is eating her pussy, is he "doing her a favor"? Or when he is fingering her G-Spot with his hand, is he "doing her a favor"? I know there are selfish and inhibited men out there, too, but I have a harder time picturing a woman asking her guy to eat her pussy and him saying, "No. Sorry. I don't get anything out of that."

I love giving blow jobs.  I think cocks are one of the best toys in the world! I love being in control of a man's pleasure...deciding when he will come, teasing, playing. I definitely get something out of it - I am dripping when I'm done. Part of my arousal is being in control, of course. *smile*

But putting the control aspect aside for a moment (give me a moment...I can do this) what about the basic idea that people enjoy giving their partner pleasure as well as receiving pleasure themselves? I like Dan Savage's "GGG": Good, Giving and Game. "Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'" That's what makes a good partner. Aha! Giving equal time and pleasure. Bingo. Kinda flies in the face of looking at it as doing them a "favor", doesn't it.

Ladies, I purport that if you are GGG, your partner will have a lot of motivation to do the same for you. But if you look at a simple blow job as a "favor" - your sex life is doomed to mediocrity and perhaps even infidelity. Because believe me, there are women out there who love to give blow jobs, love to give their man pleasure and are quite GGG. Who do you think a guy would rather be with?

Gentlemen, I urge you to strive for GGG status as well. The same is true for you; there are men out there who study up on the internet to find new techniques to please their women, who love to see her in ecstasy and make a point of learning how to get her there. Plus...the better you learn to please her, the more often she is likely to peg you when your hungry ass is craving some attention...

Ruby Ryder

4 Responses

  1. Thanks, M.

    I think that many people have wounding around sex because of sex-negative attitudes put on them by their parents or church or community.

    Sex is potentially such an intimate experience. I feel the more intimate sex is, the better it is. Pegging can be intensely intimate…I think that’s what scares some men>women away from it.

    There needs to be a GGG chapter in sex ed classes!

  2. I learned a long time ago that sex isn’t about what you get, it’s about what you give. If you aren’t going to great lengths to make your partner the most satisfied person that you know, by whatever means are at your disposal, you are doing them a disservice, shortchanging them in the pleasure department, and not doing yourself any favor either. I want to make sure that my partners are very, very happy before I am finished.

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