Tips For a Newbie

Hi Ruby, I love the contribution and changes you have brought to the site, thank you. I have been playing with my hubby's butt for years, but I have yet to achieve the prostate orgasm. I recently have found his spot and started to finger him and stimulate him this way. I have a few dildos that I use, but I am ready to strap on and peg him. I guess I could use some advice if you would be able to offer some.

How can I make this special for him and me and really fuck him good? (I want to return the favor - hehe.) I want to talk dirty and really show him a loving experience but also one that he will remember (especially tomorrow), but that's where my inexperience prevents me from getting to that dirty level, but still loving and respectful. I want to make this session last long enough to let him know I mean business and that I am capable of taking his ass, but not too long where it ends w/o the ending we are looking for.

Any tips, advice?


Thanks for your message as well as the kind words! Not every man is capable of having a prostate orgasm. I suspect that the numbers are similar to women who are capable of having a G-Spot orgasm - about 30%. So don't get fixated on that as your goal too much. The most important thing is that you both have a great time.


1) Stay in good communication. Ask him to tell you when something feel particularly good so you know what he likes. This applies to speed of penetration, speed depth and direction of strokes as well as exactly what he would love to hear regarding dirty talk. Different men like different things - there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

2) You were not born with a cock so don't expect to be able to use it expertly right from the beginning - it takes practice. (And practicing can really be fun!)

3) I see from your other messages that you're looking for domination ideas. Tying him up can be fun, and gives him the sense of having no choice in the matter. You would be in charge of his cock then so be sure to consider a position when you can reach it so you can combine prostate stimulation and cock stimulation.

4) Since you have already been practicing ass play with him, you probably have a sense of how his cock will react. Just keep in mind that it is completely normal for erections to come and go or not even be there.

Hi Ruby, thanks for getting back to me. I think he can have a prostate orgasm, he feels the tingle and the warm feeling when I finger his spot (my spot as soon as I take it from him!). I am just not good with dirty talk and I want to get better.

His erection does come and go, but usually it's rock hard (harder and bigger than normal) and leaks pre-cum like crazy. I just need to take this and bring him to the next level.

I love the face he makes when I enter him with my finger or insert the dildo. I just want to see his "O" face when I fuck him to orgasm. I usually have him jerk off so I can concentrate. I love the face he makes when he cums (oozes cause he cant really shoot with something in his butt).

Many men are able to have a prostate orgasm. It is a matter of relaxation and the right kind of prostate stimulation. The "right kind" of prostate stimulation will vary from man to man. Some men like it hard and deep, some like it quick and shallow, slow and shallow...etc.

Dirty talk can feel awkward at first, but just takes practice. In the beginning you can just say what you are doing - like a narrator. "I am so fucking your ass..." Or what you are going to do can be even more exciting, ramping up the anticipation. "I am going to slide my cock so deep inside your sweet ass..." I find it really hot to try and get him to ask for it. There is something about actually saying, "please fuck my ass" that seems to break down those barriers a bit more.

Aren't those faces the best? There is something that feels so very powerful about fucking a man until he comes. Have fun practicing!

Ruby Ryder


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