Yin and Yang.
Male and Female energy.
We all have both. Ideally, if you are a man you have mainly male energy with a bit of female energy. As a woman, ideally you have mostly female energy with a bit of male energy. But life is rarely so neat and tidy.
I have more male energy than most women. It's pretty clear to me that as a woman my male energy is slightly overdeveloped and my female energy is slightly underdeveloped. So....because I walk around in the world that way, the type of man that energy attracts has the opposite energies. His strengths compensate for my weaknesses and vice versa. He has slightly overdeveloped feminine energy and slightly underdeveloped masculine energy. When I meet a man like that it feels like a perfect fit, actually.
I thought for some time that this type of man would strike just the right balance for a great relationship with me.
And yet...what happens is that combination just perpetuates a continuing imbalance. Because it is an imbalance. I am not challenged to work on my underdeveloped feminine side. He is not challenged to work on his underdeveloped male side. We kind of coexist in our imbalance, which cannot be described as a truly healthy relationship.
Yeah. Been there and tried that. A number of times. Even recently.
The more balanced I am, the healthier partner I will attract. This would mean moving towards setting down some of my male energy and embracing more of my feminine energy. No worries...I am not about to put down the strap-on anytime in the next century.
But this does beg the question about how my sexuality fits with all of this...because I do enjoy dominance. It plays a huge part, I believe. I am an enthusiastic and accomplished giver, whether pegging or blow jobs or hand jobs or spankings or massages or just...orgasms. I am a less accomplished receiver. Receiving is absolutely feminine energy; less active, more receptive. That is the part that needs developing.
So...if I continue to choose men who have overdeveloped feminine sides, I likely commit myself to continued imbalance and more of the status quo...which hasn't worked for me yet.
I think my next guy needs to be a man who has a very well-developed masculine side yet still has a healthy dose of feminine.
Any evolved alpha males who love pegging out there?