Getting My Balance

Yin and Yang.

Male and Female energy.

We all have both. Ideally, if you are a man you have mainly male energy with a bit of female energy. As a woman, ideally you have mostly female energy with a bit of male energy. But life is rarely so neat and tidy.

I have more male energy than most women. It's pretty clear to me that as a woman my male energy is slightly overdeveloped and my female energy is slightly underdeveloped. So....because I walk around in the world that way, the type of man that energy attracts has the opposite energies. His strengths compensate for my weaknesses and vice versa. He has slightly overdeveloped feminine energy and slightly underdeveloped masculine energy. When I meet a man like that it feels like a perfect fit, actually.

I thought for some time that this type of man would strike just the right balance for a great relationship with me.

And yet...what happens is that combination just perpetuates a continuing imbalance. Because it is an imbalance. I am not challenged to work on my underdeveloped feminine side. He is not challenged to work on his underdeveloped male side. We kind of coexist in our imbalance, which cannot be described as a truly healthy relationship.

Yeah. Been there and tried that. A number of times. Even recently.

The more balanced I am, the healthier partner I will attract. This would mean moving towards setting down some of my male energy and embracing more of my feminine energy. No worries...I am not about to put down the strap-on anytime in the next century.

But this does beg the question about how my sexuality fits with all of this...because I do enjoy dominance. It plays a huge part, I believe. I am an enthusiastic and accomplished giver, whether pegging or blow jobs or hand jobs or spankings or massages or just...orgasms. I am a less accomplished receiver. Receiving is absolutely feminine energy; less active, more receptive. That is the part that needs developing.

So...if I continue to choose men who have overdeveloped feminine sides, I likely commit myself to continued imbalance and more of the status quo...which hasn't worked for me yet.

I think my next guy needs to be a man who has a very well-developed masculine side yet still has a healthy dose of feminine.

Any evolved alpha males who love pegging out there?


8 Responses

  1. I’m male, and I consider myself to be the stereotypical male in a lot of ways. I am the quiet, serious, introverted, thinker type in a lot of public situations, though I’m also the goofy, extroverted guy who’s always laughing in other situations too; mainly in private, around friends, or in my confort zones. My life is dominated by stereotypical male interests: sports (no words can effectively describe my love of sports – it’s my biggest passion and it always has been), “typical male bonding”, rollercoasters, “typical male comedy”, being active like surfing, golfing, playing other sports, riding dirt bikes, atv’s, etc.

    I don’t really have a lot of interest in the stereotypical female interests like: shopping, book clubs, wine tasting, art or other cultural museums, talk shows, reality TV, dramas, musicals or other similar things like opera, plays, etc. If I were to partake in these things, it’s because I enjoy the company of the women I’m with. Book clubs, opera, musicals, and talk shows is stretching it a bit though haha.

    However, things are different when it comes to relationships and relating to women. I am very progressive when it comes to women and relationships. I believe in equality, I don’t believe too much in stereotypical male and female roles. For example, I don’t believe in women taking care of laundry, cooking, and cleaning, while men fix the house, take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc. I believe in doing these things together. Cleaning the house together, tackling projects together, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner together.

    I’m not saying every chore has to be done together, I am only saying I don’t believe in the male and female always handling the same things day in and day out. Men and women can both clean up, do laundry, fix things, etc. I do think that doing things together can be better than just assigning each other jobs for the day though. In my experience, it’s much more fun cleaning a house together instead of by yourself.

    Communication is also something I am progressive about. I believe in being able to effectively communicate your needs and your feelings in an assertive way (note not aggressively, there’s a huge difference), no matter if it’s something small or during times of conflict. I believe in effective listening when someone else is talking. Not hearing. Listening.

    As far as the kind of woman I am interested in, I like more of a feminine acting woman with some stereotypical male interests, down to earth, grounded, thoughtful, and someone who knows themselves, and is confident in who they are. The last part if very important to me. I have spent a lot of time getting to know myself, and the type of person/relationship I am lookin for. It’s critical that the women I am interested in has done the same thing for herself, and knows what kind of person/relationship she wants. No indecisive people for me.

    Sexually speaking, I like someone who likes both taking control with a little aggressiveness, and laying back.

    Am I an evolved alpha male? I don’t know. I can explain myself. I can’t really label myself.

    1. Blink! This is quite a nice personal ad. Ladies, if he sounds like your guy – send me your info and I will relay it to him, seriously. You sell yourself well, Blink. Articulate, intelligent, self-aware. Nice.

      I have spent a lot of time getting to know myself, and the type of person/relationship I am looking for. It’s critical that the women I am interested in has done the same thing for herself, and knows what kind of person/relationship she wants. No indecisive people for me.

      I’m with you on this one. I value introspection and the urge to take a good long look inside one’s self above many things.
      Communication – yes…being able to express yourself and make your wants and needs and discontents and pleasures understood by your partner – that’s critical, and so often not an ability that most take the time to develop.
      I love your idea of doing what needs to be done together and sharing the work – it is definitely much more fun that way.
      The degree to which I enjoy sports is inversely proportionate to the amount of clothing the players wear. Swimming is awesome. Basketball in next, etc..

      From your list, I guess I have far from stereotypical female interests. Shopping is great but always best done with women friends. TV holds very little interest for me…especially reality crap. Wine tasting is fun but during a romantic weekend and as a precursor to going back to the hotel for some fun. Live theater can be amazing once in a while (“Wicked” rocked). The rest of those sound a tad boring. I’d rather be backpacking or hiking or bicycling or having friends over for food and drink. Though I do love rollercoasters, I am selective…steel rails all the way, baby. Water parks are a lot of fun on a hot day.

      Labels are indeed limiting, but allow us at least rough approximations categorically. Thanks for sharing about yourself, Blink.

  2. Oops! I didn’t intend for it to be an ad; I was contributing to what I thought was a conversation about relationships, and types of men out there so I thought I’d write about myself.

    I am single though, but yeah placing an ad was definitely not my intent. I wouldn’t take over your blog like that ha. I appreciate the kind words =)

  3. LOL – if I objected I would have taken it down, Blink. So in this spirit, gentlemen, please feel free to tell us about yourself as Blink has done. Who knows – it might be the beginning of Pegging Paradise Dating Site. And hey – I’m single, too…. 😉

  4. Ruby;

    I liked your analysis of female v male energy balance and how that affects relationships. Good insights. That’s definitely been a factor for me, but I’m sure the whole story is far more complicated.

    Looking back, I think my two previous wives and my current wife all have a solid dose of male energy. Each of them was capable of taking a dominant sexual role to some extent. And, I’m perfectly happy to be the more passive partner on a “trade-off” basis. I guess that’s my feminine aspect.

    Now that I think about it, my least successful relationships were all with very “girly” women and very “manly” women. The blended personalities were always a better match.

    We each have to figure out what works best for us. Sometimes that takes a lot of trial and error.

  5. Dave – Thanks for your contribution.

    Brought up a few more thoughts.
    Do you think that for a people to have a decently developed opposite gender side it must manifest sexually? Could it balance instead in other areas but not sexually?

    Now obviously we are all here because of our interest in pegging…which by necessity requires role reversal. So often you dear readers have explored a bit of the other side by default.

    I do feel that experiencing pegging can help both men and women to understand each other sexually, which no doubt helps to develop that opposite gender energy.

    So there you go – pegging can be instrumental in the quest to be a healthy, balanced person! Spread the word….

    1. Much time has passed since you left this comment – but I don’t think it’s all due to hormones. That could possibly be a factor, as I didn’t really embrace my dominant side until there was a lot less estrogen flowing through my body! Hmmmm…interesting.

Leave a Reply

Your Source For All Things Pegging

Information and resources for anal sex, bdsm, strap-ons, intimacy, and female domination. Let Ruby know what you think! Leave a comment, register for erotica, or catch a webinar.

More Articles