Bisexual? Bi-Curious?
I want to hear from you.
Next weeks podcast I'm going to talk about male bisexuality. I welcome all offerings on the subject whether it has anything to do with pegging or not.
I'm concentrating on male bisexuality because it feels like another possible area of sexual exploration that can suffer when pegging is explored. Here's how. So much time can be spent assuring both parties involved that no, he's not gay, that in doing so not much room is left for bisexual leanings and bi-curious wonderings.
They get denied or intentionally pushed aside because there is sometimes fear on the woman's part that she could be replaced by a real cock since her guy loves anal sex...so how can he comfortably approach any bi-curious leanings?
They also get denied or intentionally pushed aside because there is sometimes fear on the man's part about what his love of anal sex says about him. Society's generally sex-negative attitude towards homosexuality can make it hard for him to just take his leanings and wonderings at face value; there is so much stigma connected to them.
So, gentlemen, if you have had bi-curiosity, bisexual leanings, bi-sexual explorations, good or bad, pegging related or not, stories about how your partner reacted to your reveal, or your refusal to reveal and how that feels. I want to hear whatever you have to share, please. I want to dive in and explore this a bit with you.
If you are a regular commenter on my blog be assured you will be completely anonymous even within the world of Pegging Paradise so it's safe to share whatever you like. And I will take care to suspend my usual judgment of people who have monogamous relationships who are not keeping that promise.
Why? Because what I really want to know is what do you do with your bi urges? What space have you found for them in your life? How do you feel about the choice you've made?
11 Responses
Hey Ruby,
My hubby and I live a female-led relationship. Pegging has always played a big part in our sex lives and I thoroughly enjoy your blog. A few months ago, my hubby had his first bi experience. So far this is just something that we’ve kept between the two of us but your post inspired something in me. I’d really like to see him open up and share his experience with someone else. He’s been very wary of how people will treat him if they know about his experience and I think some confirmation from someone like yourself will really help him out. I’m going to try to get him to write to you sometime in the next few days. Though I was wondering, is this completely anonymous? Can people view email, my name, etc?
Thanks,
Sue
Hi Sue, thanks for your comment. Sounds like an exciting time for you and your husband! Most men are reluctant to discuss their bisexuality for obvious reasons. Under the cover of anonymity, however, many of these men find it a welcome opportunity to tell their story and discuss their experiences. All I can do is offer that forum. But you can also tell him that I and a lot of other women find bisexual men really hot!
No one here at Pegging Paradise will see your email. All they will see is the user name (Sue) you chose (unless you have a website and fill in the URL, in which case your user name will link to your website).
Well I’ve had no luck in getting my hubby to share his experience. However, he has given me permission to share my experience of his eventful evening. I really don’t wanna share too much, I’d like to give my hubby the chance to explain the whole story when he feels comfortable, but I’ll give you the jist of it and some juicy details…
My husband and I are both fairly young (we’re both 28) and as I said before, we’ve lived a female led relationship ever since we started dating. For a very long time, I’ve held a desire to see my husband submit to a man as he would do for me. Guy on guy sex turns me on, and my husband submitting turns me on, I guess it seems natural that the two would combine together. My husband has also shared this desire to submit to another man. Though for a very long time, he hasn’t quite been ready . I can’t speak for my husband as to why he came around, but about a month ago, he spent a whole night in our bedroom with another man. The other man’s name was Ben. We had met him at a swingers club. He was gay, black, 40 years old, and very tall about 6’5”. Ben was a top who identified as kind of a dominating “daddy” type. My husband was perfect for him. Oh and Ben’s cock was absolutely huge. It was probably near 10 inches and it was so thick that when my hubby put his hand around it, there was about an inch between his fingers. I swear this man would be God’s gift to women if he weren’t gay….
For the most part I let my hubby and Ben have some privacy. I stayed in the room to watch my hubby give Ben a passionate blow job. But when Ben directed hubby to get up on the bed on all fours, I knew it was my cue to leave. I could hear them moaning and panting as I fell asleep. I woke up late the next morning and went back into our main bedroom expecting to find Ben gone and hubby asleep. Though when I opened the door, I found hubby and Ben in the midst of some passionate morning sex. Hubby was riding on top of Ben. The image of Hubby’s asshole slowly being stretched over Ben’s enormous cock was quite a turn on. Though I quickly shut the door to let them have their privacy. After 20 mins, Ben left and hubby joined me at the breakfast table.
I really hope hubby will come around and share his entire experience. For now, that’s really all I can share, I think my husband needs to share the rest on his own time. However, I hope you enjoyed my take on his special evening.
Sue
Sue, Thanks for the hot story! For your husband’s first experience it sounds like everything went incredibly well. I’m glad your husband could accept a cock that large and had such a great time. (Personally the maximum I prefer is at least a couple of inches shorter than that. But asses don’t bottom out like a vagina…)
If he ever would like to tell the story, we’d love to hear it but no pressure to share. Some memories are best held close.
I want to appologize for getting back to you so late but I just wanted to thank you so much for taking interest in what I had to write. My hubby and I both listened to your podcast and I can certainly say that hearing someone react in such a positive way to my hubby’s first experience helped to ease some of his anxieties. Because you were so kind, I thought that I would give you a little update. For the past month or so, Ben has been coming over to spend the night about two times a week. They normally take the main bedroom and Ben will leave sometime after breakfast the next morning. For the most part Ben prefers that I stay out of the bedroom when he’s together with hubby. Which I can understand, he is a gay man after all. Though from time to time he will allow me to watch. As far as my hubby accepting Ben’s cock, it has been a slow and gradual process. He still struggles with Ben’s size. However, Ben goes very slow and hubby shows a lot of patience. From the times that I’ve been allowed to watch, I can tell that there are moments in which Ben’s size creates an uncomfortable situation for hubby, though hubby has told me that he has never been in any amount of serious pain. I think if they begin to see each other a bit more frequently, Ben’s size will no longer be an issue.
The dynamic of this three way relationship has worked surprising well. I had never intended for it to turn out like this. To be frank, all I had originally wanted was to see my husband get fucked by another man. But my husband really took a liking to Ben. He submits to Ben in the same way he would submit to me, he doesn’t place one of us over the other. Because of this, I’ve never felt an ounce of regret or jealousy towards Ben.
My husband is still uncomfortable with speaking about his orientation. He refuses to call himself bi, and has a hard time saying that he desires to be with other men. He tells me that he doesn’t like guys, he just likes Ben. Its very hard for me not to laugh at his logic. But I know that it will take time for him to sort these things out. For right now, I want him to continue to hold a special and passionate relationship with Ben.
I just wanted to thank you once again for your kindness and if you have any questions about our relationship or would like some content for you blog I would be happy to help.
Sue
Hey Ruby!
Fantastic website you have here, it is such a comprehensive discussion of an interesting subject.
To answer your question, if I were to label myself, I would say straight, although with bicurious leanings. I consider myself to be someone open minded when it comes to new experiences, including those in the bedroom. While I have never had an experience with a member of the same sex, I have wondered what the sexual experience would be like and how it might feel. I don’t feel romantically attracted to men, but sometimes entertain fantasies and indulge in same sex and bisexual imagery. I find, however, that the feeling comes and goes, and many times, I have no desire to entertain it. Other times, I cannot forget the fantasy. I don’t feel guilty about it as I see it as experimentation and pure fantasy. My attraction has always been to women and my desire for a relationship has always involved a female partner.
I love the idea of pegging; I for one enjoy anal play and can’t think of any reason why I should feel guilty about enjoying something that inherently exists regardless of sexual orientation. Sharing it with a beautiful woman is a turn-on to share such an intimate activity, considered taboo by many, as well as placing myself in a more vulnerable position. I see it as a shared act and not exclusively an act of dom/sub, although I see the role that it can play. As of yet, I have not had the chance to experience it, but if I do, I’ll hardly be thinking of another man as she penetrates me. Instead I’ll be thinking of sharing an incredibly intimate activity with someone whom I can trust and share a different side of myself with.
Hopefully, this helps answer part of your question.
Thanks for your response, Mike. The variety of answers I received speaking to this subject continue to fascinate me. When I read them I begin to believe more than ever that sexuality is fluid. If all guilt and shame could be erased in conjunction with anal play for men I would be ecstatic because many men struggle with that. As far as pegging is concerned – I hope your experience is a “when” rather than an “if”!
Thanks for the reply, Ruby…I had a chance to hear you read the comment on your podcast as well as the follow up questions.
I am currently in a relationship with a beautiful woman who is aware of my enjoyment of anal play. She is not shy about touching me on the outside during foreplay, but has never penetrated me with her fingers, or a toy. Alone, however, I do enjoy penetration with a small toy. While I would like to share this with her, I believe she is slightly suspicious of my enjoyment of anal play, and what it could mean. As you know, I do entertain bicurious fantasies, but have never acted upon these. While I find the idea of sharing these fantasies a turn on, I feel that doing so could change our relationship. I dont feel that those fantasies are something I need to share, although I would like to further explore anal play with her, to the point of penetration. I don’t know that she would ever use a strapon, but you never know….maybe she is as shy about it as I am. In the meantime, my entertainment of bicurious fantasies and imagery is something I will keep for myself.
The decision whether to reveal your desire for pegging/bicuriousity to your wife or not is such a personal one. I would love to be able to say that we should all be open with our fantasies with our partners but that has a rather pollyanna-ish naiveté . It might help to provide her with information about how anal play for men is totally justified because of the prostate gland; how it’s just like her G-spot. You can find a lot of information here on my website if you think she might be open to it. I wish I had a magic wand that could take away the fear that people feel when their partners share fantasies with them. Many fantasies stay fantasies forever with good reason. I wish you luck in your quest for penetration!
I’m sorry I missed the opportunity to comment in time and not by much it seems.
Are you still interested in hearing from men on this subject?
Welcome to Pegging Paradise, A Different Mike! I am always interested in hearing from men on this subject, as I continue to periodically do articles or podcasts about bisexual men who enjoy pegging. You are welcome to send anything you have to offer to ruby “at” peggingparadise “dot” com.