Jun 22 2013

Men:Handling Women’s Tears

Tears

Tears

 

This has nothing to do with pegging, sex education or sex at all.

This is a public service announcement for all the men, on behalf of the women.

Please read this carefully because we women really need you to hear this message.

How to handle a woman in tears:

  1. Grab a tissue box and put it near you
  2. Say in a soft, conciliatory voice, "Oh, honey." (or whatever you call her)
  3. Open up your arms and take her into them and hold her
  4. There are only two appropriate things to say in a soft voice while you hold her:
    something like "Let it all out, honey."
    something like "I love you so much."
  5. Saying these once is sufficient; no need to repeat
  6. Let her cry and hold her

That's all you need to do!

What not to do:

  1. Talk, except for #4 above
  2. Do not try to find out why she is crying (there's time for that later!)
  3. Do not try to fix whatever it is that made her cry
  4. Do not assign blame
  5. Do not take responsibility
  6. Do not get defensive

Here's the amazing thing...even if you had a part in her tears, most times this is still what is best to offer!

Tears are good. Tears should be encouraged to come out. Keeping them in is stressful and not good for your health.

The greatest gift you can give your woman when she is crying is to hold space for her in the above manner so that she can let out her tears.

The worst thing you can say is "Don't cry!" If your woman's tears make you uncomfortable take a look at why you feel that way instead of asking her not to cry.

 

Lastly, here's something that will turn everything upside down:

Bottling up of emotions is not good for either gender.

Switch the genders and keep the same practice; women need to hold space for men's emotions, too.

 

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3 comments

  1. Thanks for the advice Ruby. Actually really good to know

  2. Just hope it works for women in general

    1. Where relationships and emotions are concerned, there are no guarantees, but the vast majority of women I know prefer this type of interaction when in tears.

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