Men Like to Feel Beautiful and Wanted, Too

men like to feel beautiful, too

The Desire to Feel Beautiful

Whether dressed up in a flirty pair of panties and bra or just walking bare-assed naked from the shower, men want to feel desired and lusted after. And while the word 'beautiful' more often has feminine connotations, it doesn't have to. I have met many a beautiful man, and even more beautiful asses - because that's my jam. But I digress. You can absolutely substitute the word sexy here if you like. This craving to feel beautiful or sexy can be even more meaningful in the world of pegging.

Getting There Can Be Hard

Walking down the path of pegging can put receivers in a tender and vulnerable space. First, they must get past society's BS about masculinity and sexual orientation having anything to do with pegging. These incorrect connotations and assumptions are taught from young boyhood. Letting go of them to explore new sexual territory is not an easy task.

Once they manage to start exploring, there can be a new challenge to conquer. There they are, having confessed (because it often does feel like a confession) their desire for pegging. This new challenge involves navigating the push-pull of wanting to do pegging with their partner but feeling a little tender, embarrassed, or shy about it.

At this point, slipping into the wantonness of pegging can still feel uncomfortable and even risky. Why risky? Sometimes there are givers who are dealing with their own misconceptions around pegging and get upset if their partner likes it 'too much'. This is a difficult dichotomy; trying to open up and let go but not feeling safe to do so for fear of reaction or judgement. The situation has many possible missteps and requires careful handling.

Communication Can Reassure

Learning and talking about those myths and misconceptions with each other can help. Putting it all out of the table and discussing fears and concerns around pegging takes the power out of them and helps you be aware of each other's sensitive areas. A giver might be totally fine with tossing their partner around and giving them a thorough fucking, but a strap-on blow job makes her uncomfortable. Maybe a receiver really wants to explore pegging but fears it will destroy his masculinity and the way his partner perceives him. These are important things to talk about.

He Wants Her to Want It

All that taken into consideration, the act of asking for pegging can be a formidable task for receivers. Asking for it can feel exposed, embarrassing, and sensitive. It can feel even more that way if receivers are the only ones to initiate strap-on play. And of course getting rejected can cause some feelings. But when you know your giver wants you but circumstances are not ideal, it's easier not to take the rejection personally.

I have heard many receivers express how much they would love to know their partner wants to fuck them. I've even heard them express the desire to be sexually objectified. There's something about the receptivity of pegging that can change a pursuer into someone who wants to be pursued. Being pursued feels good. To have your ass grabbed because your partner wants you to know just how much they enjoy fucking that ass, that can be a thrilling experience.

Generalization - Women are more used to being pursued so they have less experience in pursuing. They also have less experience in being open about their lust for their partner. But if they knew how much it would mean to their partner to hear something like, "Your ass looks so good in those pants, I can't wait to fuck you again," they might consider taking a walk down that path.

Express your Desire

Not all givers are going to be as enthusiastic as I am about pegging, and I get that. But consider this. Think about what it would feel like to want sex from your partner. They'll do it if you ask, but are never the initiator and don't say or do things that make you feel desired. That can be painful.

So, givers - I'm not saying you should fake it and do something that's not real. But if you do enjoy pegging your partner, let them know! Grab their ass and ask to make a date with that ass. Leave a dildo where they can find it with a note about where you want to put that dildo and when. Leave a bottle of lube out with a note that talks about how much they will need that later. Have some fun with it and get creative!

Inviting Authenticity

When receivers know that their partner wants them and finds them sexy, it can can help them feel beautiful and safe! That knowledge can also help receivers get past the shyness and embarrassment they may feel around pegging.

When givers openly express their desire for their receiver's ass, that can help him ask for what he wants with confidence! Perhaps he can even get on his hands and knees, pull those cheeks apart, and ask to be fucked. That authentic wantonness can be gorgeous. When your partner feels safe and open enough to express that side of themselves, whatever it looks like, it's really a gift. The safe space you've given them is as much of a gift as their unrestrained expression of their desires.

10 Responses

  1. I feel that 100%. I just came out to my wife that I want to wear lingerie and I’m leaning towards more gender queer/fem. Surprisingly it went rather well. I want to feel pretty for her and I want to feel pretty for myself most of all. I have never felt so safe in a moment of vulnerability.

  2. It is so very true that a Man likes to “feel” beautiful, however it applies to him, but for most of us men the choices are so limited and or we struggle to find what’s socially “acceptable”.
    For me….. I don’t believe that I’d ever feel comfortable mentally, dressing up fully to look like a woman and be in public. What I do know is that I very much appreciate the female form and have so very often found myself in public jealous of clothing women wear that looks so comfortable. For example: I did once wear nylons over shaved legs and the physical feeling was so exquisite. Another time on a hot day I found myself in a kilt in public and again the physical feeling of the breeze on my legs and the lack of containment was just so freeing- I later thought my attire was not properly matched so I did not repeat. Just the same, I often think about that day and how I might learn to better dress myself, but life gets in the way and Wal-Mart’s kilt and accessories selection is limited. For a few years though, I’d have to wear business attire and I always wore woman’s dress socks/hosiery because they were just so much more comfortable than men’s itchy ones. Still today, I wear ladies ankle socks because again, they are far more comfortable and actually fit my feet. Lastly, I developed Hypertonic Pelvic Floor problems and vaginal dialators are helping me to correct it better than anything else (unfortunately I mastered the biggest size).

    1. Exploring the world of (as I understand it, much more comfortable) women’s clothing and lingerie is something many men wax poetic about. Society is cruel in regards to labeling any kind of clothing either male or female – it’s a false social construct. I admire Alok V Menon and his flouting of the rules, but even more so the eloquence with with he speaks on the subject.

  3. I LOVE this article. Spot on. I’ve been wearing panties and thongs for almost a year now and they are my preferred undergarments, eventually hope to wear them daily and get rid of the boxers. Lingierie is next and have played with it a few times, but didn’t feel right at the time. Now that I’m shaving my legs and other areas though it’s time to revisit. And yes, I do like to feel pretty and sexually objectified. She pegs me and I couldn’t be happier! Those panties in the pic are gorgeous…do you happen to have a link to them??

  4. This right here! My road is a little different as my extreme right parents I felt forced to change my mind and wants for them and conform to the society norm as I call it and want acceptance and never was feeling right. So I actually came out trans to my wife and she is taking it okay just a little hesitant still. Then I expressed wanting to feel beautiful and brought up pegging and we are finding the rhythm!

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