I like to be polite.
I figure that if a guy takes the time to write me a message asking if I am interested in him and I am not, the least I can do is to reply and say politely, "no thank you".
Here's what that looks like:
Thanks for very much for your message. You are not quite what I am looking for but I truly wish you the very best in your search.
Sometimes I get replies thanking me for being nice, for actually replying and wishing me the best. Those are satisfying, mostly because to me it is representative of having successfully navigated a potentially charged internet interaction with manners and graciousness on both sides.
I know it cannot be easy looking for a woman on a dating site as a man. I have heard the horror stories and the frustrations. I try to model a kinder, nicer side of internet dating.
But lately I've been getting a fair amount of backlash to my polite reply, to my surprise.
There's the black guy who played the race card and accused me of being prejudiced.
There's the guy who out of the blue called me judgmental and said he wouldn't want to date me anyway.
And today there's the guy who got mad that I even replied (since it was a no) and accused me of not knowing what I wanted.
We're all looking for someone. It is not an easy task. I'm not there on the dating site so that frustrated men can take out their frustrations on me because this task of looking is so difficult. Nor am I there to pay for the sins of the rude women who never reply, say mean things and in general act like bitches.
Sadly, I click the block button.
But not before I say this:
If you are unable to accept a simple and POLITE "no thank you" then perhaps you should not be on an internet dating site.