Pegging – Not Her Thing

About 2 months ago I posted a letter, which you can find here, that was written to me from a woman. Her SO had asked her to peg him and she tried it once and didn't like it, for a whole variety of reasons. Her letter was long and full of possible misconceptions, so I took it apart and responded at length to her points, hoping for the best. She responded today to let us know how things went, which was not well, unfortunately.

Ruby, thank you for addressing my comment. I read and reread your response several times in order to try to clear my thoughts and be as unbiased as possible when having a serious talk with my bf. I explained to him I was still very uncomfortable with doing anything anal and probably always will be. He told me I would get used to it and wouldn’t find it gross or weird if I “practiced” enough. I told him I was willing to to do it once a month as long as it was scheduled so he could prepare himself. He told me sex should never be scheduled and once a month was not nearly enough. I told him I was trying my best and I thought once a month was better than never, he said if I was only willing to perform pegging once a month that he would only be willing to have vaginal with me once a month.

I must say that last part especially hurt, comparing my want for regular sex where we both orgasm and a sex act in which I feel nothing at all is just crazy, plain and simple. And very selfish on his part. I told him as much and we have since broken up. I still can’t believe someone I loved so much would try to bully me into a sex act like that. I guess I never really knew him.

I have been dating a new man for about a month now and recently worked up the courage to discuss the topic with him. I told him straight up that it is something I will never be into and if he has any curiosities about the topic that I would not judge him for it however I would not take the relationship to the next level but we could remain friends. I know you’re probably thinking I was wrong to interrogate him like that but I refuse to emotionally invest myself in someone for years just to find out were incompatible again. He assured me with a very firm no way no how that he would never be interested in anal play or anything else that made me uncomfortable.

So yes, the decision to break up was a hard one but it was one I had to make. I’m much happier now and I’m sure he is too.

And my response to her...

I am so sorry to hear of your breakup. Sexual compatibility is a very important part of a relationship and it sounds like you two were simply incompatible in that one area. An area in which there were such strong feelings from both of you. I commend you on your openness to my comments and your willingness to at least try. I’m so sorry things didn’t work out. Pegging is certainly not for everyone, and it clearly isn’t for you. I admire that you know what you want and what you don’t, and you are sticking to it. Best of luck to you in your new relationship.

Things do not always work out perfectly in Pegging Land. Readers, please keep that in mind when you are encouraging people to try it. Pegging is not for everyone, and preferences need to be treated with respect, not only attempts to convince. I think this woman is exactly right - they are both happier now and I hope they both find more compatible sexual partners.

 

2 Responses

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Compatibility is so very important. On all levels, sexual preferences non withstanding. If you can’t enjoying doing things together, to and for each other and with other’s happiness in mind, it just makes for dissatisfaction all the way around. I see so many folk stuck in these kind of situations and it’s heartbreaking.

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