The Cardinal Rules of Safe Pegging – PANTS

Sure, we all dream of those seminal moments of exploring our most powerful fantasy - Pegging. Maybe it's that take-your-breath-away sensation of feeling the head of a dildo being pushed into your ass for the very first time, or perhaps it's being the one with the hotter-than-hot view of pushing that dildo into your receiver's ass! Whichever side of the strap-on that you are on, the very first step after confirming consensual interest and willingness to explore with your partner, is learning the cardinal rules of safe pegging.

The Cardinal Rules Safe Pegging - PANTS

1. Plenty of Lube

2. Anal-Safe Toys Only

3. No Numbing Agents

4. Take it Slow

5. Start Small

Let's unpack each rule, shall we?

Plenty of lube. If you have been watching porn, please correct any misconceptions you may have that spit is lube. It is not! A good quality, body-safe, non-toxic lube is essential for pleasurable pegging. Use more than you think you need. Use enough so that you need to put down a cover for the bed so things don't get messy. Givers, when you are pegging for a while, periodically add more lube to keep things sliding smoothly. Receivers, don't be shy to ask for more lube when you need it. Pegging sessions can go longer with sufficient lube. Conversely, they can be cut short with insufficient lube, because that can result in too much friction and a sore ass.

Anal-Safe toys only. This seems like a no-brainer, but people just don't think sometimes. Clean fingers with well-trimmed nails are great (with gloves or without), but no fingers with long nails should ever go in an ass, Use a toy instead, like a butt plug. All anal-safe toys have a flared base for safety. Small vibrators or thin dildos without a flared base can go up into the colon and become irretrievable - necessitating a trip to the ER for removal. No one wants that! Least of all the ER doctors. Flared bases prevent this. No random household items, please!

No numbing agents. There are lubes sold that tout ease of anal penetration because they have numbing agents in them, often Lidocaine. Please do not ever use these for pegging! Pain is an indicator that you are going too fast, using something too large, not using enough lube or you have not properly relaxed. Let your body give you these signals and respond to them by backing off and going more slowly/adding lube/using a smaller toy. If you eliminate the indicator of pain, it is much easier to cause an injury such as an anal tear without even knowing it.

Also - please moderate your use of other more common numbing agents such as alcohol or drugs. Just about every experience of a horrendous injury caused by anal penetration was fueled by alcohol and/or drugs. Be responsible and don't indulge to the point of bad judgement. If you have already indulged past that point - skip the pegging and wait for another time. Alcohol and drugs can impair the receiver's ability to discern pain and call a halt. Alcohol and drugs can impair the giver's ability to pace themselves and not go too fast, too hard or forget the lube.

Take it slow. When I say take it slow, I really mean take it slow! I don't mean spend 30 seconds playing with the receiver's anus and then push the toy in. I mean play with that asshole with your fingers, tongue (if you are into rimming) or smaller toys for a decently long time - at least 15 minutes. Take your time. Tease. Take it so slow that the receiver is backing up and asking you for it. And receivers, if your giver isn't doing this, if they are rushing things, you need call a halt to things until they understand how important it is to take things slow so your ass has time to open up.

Start small. Most of us who have ventured into the land of internet porn have seen clips of huge anal penetrations. Are they possible? Sure - those videos confirm they are possible. Are there repercussions? Past a certain point, yes. What is the limit? That will differ according to who you ask. The largest toy I use is 2.75" in diameter. But these toys take a lot of time, even months or years, to work up to. The point here is that if you are just starting out pegging, and perhaps just starting out with anal penetration, start small! You may have been watching porn clips with huge toys that make your mouth water with anticipation, but that is not where one begins their pegging journey. Don't let your eyes be bigger than your ass when you choose your first toy. Unless you are experienced with anal play, a good starter size is  1 - 1.25" in diameter and 6 - 6.5" long.  You will need a longer toy if the giver has a bigger belly and/or the receiver has a bigger butt (I am looking for a dildo that fits these specifications!) Start small and work up to larger toys as you become accustomed to the smaller ones.

So those are the basics! Following these safety rules will decrease the incidence of injury dramatically.  And remember, despite your best efforts, sometimes even when you follow all the rules, asses decide not to cooperate. I like to say that asses have personalities, and some nights are just not ass nights. Respect that when it happens and reschedule the pegging or anal play for another time.

Now go forth, and enjoy your ass play!

More information:

Approaching your partner to be a giver

Approaching your partner to be a receiver

Podcast (#112) for the givers - eases fears and corrects misconceptions

Solo Anal Play for Newbie Receivers

Couples Anal Play for Newbies

Choosing your equipment

© Ruby Ryder