Reduced to a Sex Thing in One Sentence

Women that peg and eat ass are wife material.

I came across this comment on Reddit and definitely had a reaction.

Ack! Why does this comment, and ones like it, bother me so much? To me, it feels so reductive, like the value of a woman is being reduced to the sex acts she is willing to do. She's a sex thing, instead of a person who enjoys certain sexual activities. The person part is missing there. Taken to its extreme, you could have a horrible, manipulative, cruel partner, but hey, if they ate ass and pegged you - marry them! I know that's extrapolating wildly, but still. I suppose it's not what is said, it's what is missing that bothers me.

To switch the genders, it might read something like:

Men who will take it up the ass are husband material.

Well, that's certainly one aspect I look for in a partner, but certainly not the only one. How would I change it?

Men who love taking it up the ass satisfy one of my important requirements to be considered marriage material.

That, at least, implies there are a number of other requirements besides taking it up the ass. Like kindness, honesty, compassion, service-oriented, financially stable, makes me laugh, adventurous... I could go on.

I don't know - what do you all think? Do comments like this bother anyone else? Does it sound like women are being reduced to a sex thing? Or am I overthinking this?

8 Responses

  1. Hi Ruby, welcome back . Good to see you back again. Hope you have managed to take time out and are starting to feel better. x

    Ruby you are DEFINITELY not overthinking. The person who wrote that comment is destined to have a very sad life ahead of them in my opinion. You have got it in one when you said that such a limited criteria excludes the possibilities of ending up with a cruel and negative partner. Sex although an important part of a relationship is not everything because when the flames of love start to diminish, it is then that you look around and see what else remains that keeps the two of you together. Such as stable home life, financially secure, educated, intelligent , caring, laughter etc My wife and I started out as best friends before we did the unthinkable and crossed over to become lovers which is why our relationship has lasted for so long, and we are still best friends.

    1. Happy for you! Thanks for the response. Yeah, the sentence implies that’s all you need, like it’s all about sex and let’s just ignore the living life together part of the equation…

  2. I usually don’t bother with other opinions, but I agree with you it’s not all about sex. Sure sex is part of it and it’s more healthy if i can find a wife where i can be myself with her. But you should look for other things as well. If pegging is all what he thinks of then that’s Maybe a mistress material i think.

    1. Agreed. For some, it’s not just more healthy, it’s essential to find a partner whose sexual interests match theirs, but there are still so many other factors!

  3. I agree wholeheartedly……First comes Love and Friendship. Then comes Trust and Partnership. Then comes Respect…….you can’t get to good pegging without the intimacy that requires all the above…..

    Glad to have you back friend.

    1. Well, there are certainly people out there who have a kink of being used as a thing with no intimacy involved in their pegging, and they would disagree that those factors are essential. But where a relationship is involved, absolutely. (As a sex educator I feel compelled to hold space for everyone!)

  4. It’s sad that this is how many men still think of women and how a few women think of men. But it seems that if you try to force/encourage people to conform to a better level of respect or morals, they will break out somewhere else. Like trying to fit 2cups of jelly into a 1.5cup container.
    Regarding those who actually do want a partner who does or is experienced in these activities, my experience is that around my general age group(not quite ancient, but getting there!), it wouldn’t matter what the saying was, guys won’t come out of the woodwork anyway.
    As a younger woman, I didn’t have a problem finding a compatible partner, now that I am older it’s been impossible.
    Under these circumstances and with consideration to the whole pandemic situation of social distancing, etc, some women might tolerate the lack of respect and gratuitous innuendo indicated by the statement, just to have a partner.
    Therefore that could be a reason why that statement floated to the surface of social media.

    1. Thanks for the thoughtful response. Sometimes I think it’s just part and parcel of the internet. Anonymity begets shorthand, curtness and rude behavior in a certain section of the population. And sometimes I think I am old school, and insisting on manners while younger folx don’t take offense at all.

Leave a Reply

Your Source For All Things Pegging

Information and resources for anal sex, bdsm, strap-ons, intimacy, and female domination. Let Ruby know what you think! Leave a comment, register for erotica, or catch a webinar.

More Articles

Ruby Ryder shares stainless steel chastity cage with lock for chastity play

It’s Good to be Clean

Masturbation Month 2024 #29 (Link to Part One) Cleaning day! What the actual fuck, thought Frank. Sure, he could see the point behind it, and honestly

Read More »