I am headed to the Lone Star state to teach lovely Texas women how to fuck their manly men in the ass with a strap-on, and teach those manly Texas men...how to take it. Yep.
Now of course part of the reason I am headed to Texas is because that is where Mr. Hot Body lives. But I do intend to explore and enjoy the lovely city of Austin. I hear it's beautiful, progressive, and has an international flair. I look forward to teaching there.
I was reassured by a young man on FetLife.com that, "Austin is an oasis of liberalism in a desert of conservatism. You will be welcome and safe here." Nice! I like the sound of that.
Because I was wondering what the hell I am doing heading off to a state that teaches abstinence-only sex ed? The state that was caught trying to re-write the science books in the areas of evolution (of course) and climate change. This is the state where the Texas Republican Party included in its political platform a statement saying that they opposed the teaching of “higher order thinking skills” because such instruction challenges a student’s “fixed beliefs” and undermines “parental authority.” Yikes.
But above all...the thing that strikes fear in the heart of my toy-filled suitcase is Texas' "Obscene Device Law".
This is a law that prohibits the sale or promotion of "Obscene device[s] mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." Then it goes on to define that a person possessing more than 6 of these obscene devices is presumed to have possession with intent to sell.
Well...I have no artificial vaginas in my suitcase, which is carry-on, by the way, because I can't risk my luggage getting lost. But I do have a crap-ton of dildos, all sizes and colors and types. And harnesses. And lube. A bullet vibe or two. Chargers for the dildo-shaped toys that need charging. The basics for a traveling sex educator that is not only going to teach, but plans some sexy times with a hunky guy as well. Yes, a fair amount of pegging fun will be happening in a hotel somewhere in Austin at the end of June, that is sure.
But back to the law. The Wikipedia page for this statute has a documented history of cases and appeals, and it was there that I discovered that this statue had been struck down by a federal court of appeals as unconstitutional in February of 2008. Whew!
And then, in a very Texas-like move, the Texas 13th District Court of Appeals addressed the federal ruling and ruled that until the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals rules that the statute is unconstitutional, the promotion of obscene devices remains illegal. Therefore, despite the actions of the federal courts, the statute remains (sort of) in effect in the twenty-county area of Texas covered by the jurisdiction of the 13th District Court of Appeals. Because they said so. Right.
Kinda like saying to the Federal Court of Appeals, Nuh- Uh!
But, wait! Finally, late in 2008, the appeal was dropped and the ruling remains that the law is unconstitutional. Like the sodomy law struck down in 2003. Yep.
So if anyone tells you that you shouldn't move to Texas because you can only own 6 dildos, that's not true (anymore). In doing research for this post, I finally disproved the veracity of this claim.
There are a crap-ton of other reasons you shouldn't move to Texas, but you can have (and sell) as many dildos as you like!
See you soon, Texas. But just so you know, I'm flying into Austin, teaching, trying the BBQ, fucking the daylights out of Mr. Hot Body, and flying back home.
I don't plan to set foot outside of Austin, thankyouverymuch.
Buy tickets for the event! I am being graciously hosted by 'Forbidden Fruit', a store that strives to foster sexual self-awareness and communication, to educate and inform the community, and support lifestyle needs.