Do Women Love Pegging?

Ruby Ryder shares example of women who love pegging

Yes, there are indeed many givers who love pegging. All givers are different and their specific reasons for enjoying strap-on sex are as many and varied as the individual givers are. Some givers enjoy pegging as another tender, sensual addition to sweet lovemaking. Some like to combine it with other kinks (and those are many and varied as well). Certain themes rise to the top when givers talk about why they like pegging. The vulnerability of the receiver. The taboo aspect. The pleasure of running the show. The fascination of sexually switching places. The deepening of intimacy.

The following is my story about why I love pegging. I have also recorded two podcasts full of just givers telling their stories about why they love pegging.
Podcast #115
Podcast #175


(This article was written before the evolution of the gender binary - please excuse the gendered terms throughout)

All givers are different, but I can tell you that I definitely love pegging. So what is it exactly that turns my crank when I don a strap-on and peg my receiver?

My, my, my...so many things.

The Pleasure Principle

More than any other reason, I love to peg a man because it brings him so much pleasure. Some time ago I had the privilege of introducing a new  lover to pegging. After he came exquisitely hard in his hand while I sunk deep inside him...he gasped, "I had no idea!" I love the cause and effect of watching a man's body react when I thrust inside him. I love the moans and gasps I can elicit. Pegging allows me to actually be inside him giving him pleasure, which is a thrill in itself; the only time in sexual play that I get to do that. But mostly...I just love to put a man in ecstasy with my strap-on.

Open up, Baby

There is a vulnerability that is necessary for a man to be penetrated. I don't really see that with vanilla sex. A softness in his face. His eyes become a little unfocused or they close. I love that vulnerability. I love to see a man purely receptive and open...it is a rare and beautiful sight. That vulnerability makes me want to gather him in my arms and fuck him sweetly and continuously until he comes with cries of passion.

Happy at the Helm

I love...running the fuck. Control is mine (Ruby likes control...). I can tease him...or pound him...until he begs for release or respite. I can change the angle of my toy just a bit and know it's driving him crazy with pleasure. Or I can stay still, buried inside him and drive him crazy with wanting more. I am wearing the dildo, so I get to decide.

Forbidden Fruit

I love the taboo aspect of it. I mean, as taboo thrills go - fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo is like the Dubai Tower of illicit sex thrills for me. But also there is the whole ass thing. Sadly, asses suffer from widespread discrimination. People who are happy to dress up their derrière  in sexy articles of clothing designed to attract widespread attention...would never think of  undressing that ass and actually taking it for a drive to see what it can do! Asses are often thought of as a dirty, nasty place that serves only one function, period. Well, let's see...dirty? Absolutely. Which is why you wash it really, really well before you start playing with it! Duh! ...Nasty? Yes! Nasty with a capital N and an exclamation mark. The juicy, titillating, throbbing, aching, fun kind of nasty. ...Serves only one function? Well there are many many gay men who would beg to differ...and thankfully a growing number of straight men who have also discovered the joys of anal pleasure. *steps off soapbox*

Deliciously Dissident

Flouting  intolerant opinions is a hobby of mine. Above and beyond the ass itself, a lot people have judgments about pegging, from both sides of the dildo. If you are a man who likes pegging, clearly you must be gay, and if you are a woman who likes pegging, you wish you were a man. I love flying in the face of all those judgments and doing what I want just because I enjoy it. Sometimes I think that I gravitate towards kinkier stuff because there is a part of me that resists anyone telling me what I  should or shouldn't do, most especially in the realm of sexual exploration. So if people view something as taboo - damn, that might be a hot thing to try! I am a bit of a rebel at heart. Does it give me a charge to know that if I told some of my friends about my proclivity for pegging, they would be shocked? Indeed it does. *smile*

The Visuals

The delectable vision of spreading those cheeks and sinking slowly into his ass...that is one of the hottest,  most amazingly arousing visuals I have ever seen....like, ever. Now I know why some of the kinkier dating sites that have amateur videos are overrun with clips of men holding a video camera pointing straight down as their cock is sinking into their woman who is on her hands and knees...I get it, guys! And from a different position, the look on his face when I am stroking my strap-on in and out...that surprised naked passion sort of OMG-what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-to-me-I-love-this look. It's incomparable. His hands reaching back to pull his ass cheeks apart. Riding me and stroking his cock. So many visuals! Who says women aren't as visual as men! If more women tried pegging perhaps the numbers would change.

My Pleasure

Do I get pleasure? Oh yes. Oh God, yes. Dripping throbbing, aching, clenching pleasure...without a doubt. I'm playing with how to orgasm while I am actually pegging my guy. Some women do...and I want to join them in that singular pleasure. There are dildos that offer a vibe in the base that are slated for experimentation...I'll let you know how it goes. Might take a lot of practice...I don't think he will mind.

Happy Pegging.

Ruby Ryder

34 Responses

  1. Hi!
    I love pegging but my partner has a haemorroid and it just is too scary for him. So he refuses; I am disappointed. What can I do to alleviate his fear? Should I use ointment like Proctosedyl or Rectinol on him first?

    1. Ointments like Proctosedyl or Rectinol have numbing agents to relieve the pain of hemorrhoids so you never want to use them for pegging.

      What I would suggest is that he try a prostate massager like High Island Health (Same company as Aneros). Here’s why I suggest that: Hemorrhoids develop because of a lack of circulation and healthy vasculature in the rectal canal due to overstressed musculature in the region. These prostate massage devices help stimulate that tissue and many times can solve the problem and the hemorrhoids will recede. The first link I gave you for High Island has a Hemorrhoid FAQs page and it tells you which hemorrhoids will respond to the massagers. Many times when men use these devices they discover how pleasurable prostate stimulation can be. If his hemorrhoids are too severe (type 3 or 4) then he may need surgery before you will be able to peg him because they will just get irritated and bleed and no one will have any fun!

          1. Fetlife is designed more for community networking in terms of whatever specific kink you have. There are groups for every kink and area specific groups as well. The search capabilities are not designed to look for someone in your area with a specific kink, but that keeps the trolls out and I have indeed met men from Fetlife. I don’t have any interest in online-only stuff…I have toys to test!!!

    1. I am a 35 yr old, heterosexual man… I have never been pegged, per say, but am SO turned on by the idea. I have several toys that get utilized on a fairly regular basis. I have entrusted only one person with this intel, but she was in no way into the idea. Not because she judged the idea, rather that all things anal repulse her. I would LOVE to get pegged, but there is such a small community of like minded people that it makes me EXTREMELY reluctant to propose the idea. But the idea of completely surrendering myself to a woman is SOOOO sexy. Not to mention the fact that im comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit to the facts that anal stretching and prostate stimulation are AMAZING! Ladies…. please spread the word to your friends that it could be a truly tantalizing experience, and that there are guys out here that are BEGGING for it, just that most wont admit to the idea. Thanks for listening, ladies.
      Sincerely,
      Disabled Marine Corps Veteran

      1. I love that even if you have not yet found an enlightened and willing woman to peg you, that you have explored your own body, found what pleasures you and you enjoy it! Reading this on my podcast #98…
        Thanks for your service, soldier. ❤❤❤

  2. I really really really wish I could find an open minded girl like you who wants to bend me over and pound me into submission, not just to please me but because she loves doing it, no such luck. I could never come out and say it I want a girl who will suggest it, that way I know she likes it otherwise they may just be secretly judging me thinking I’m weird but not say anything.

    1. Here’s how I think about that…if you do not already have a girlfriend and are looking to start a relationship, it pays to lay your kink cards on the table relatively quickly. In a positive hey, this is a totally cool thing that I am into and I’d love to show you all about it kind of way. Not in a self-conscious, fearful I know this is twisted and kinda weird but I really hope you like it way. Easier said than done, I realize, but you get my point. If she judges you, you don’t want to be with a woman like that anyway – walk away and be grateful you found out before you got too involved.
      You see, if you never say anything…both of you could actually be sitting there waiting for the other person to ask because they don’t want to feel judged…and it will never happen. Which is just sad.
      Now if you are already in a relationship and wish to introduce pegging, best to read my article, “Convincing her to try it” and proceed slowly.

  3. Why do some sites show women using such large strapons on their man. Is it something that is progressive, or a power and control thing. How can a man enjoy something so huge inside him.
    Thanks

    1. Some men enjoy penetration with large toys. They like the feeling of being stretched. They like the more intense contact with their prostate. Some just love the idea of a really big toy – it turns them on. I heard one man explain that it took him a while to work up to a big dildo, but that once he got it in, every little movement contact his prostate quite blissfully. Multiple orgasms and everything.
      And of course – some men never want something that large inside them.
      The reason that the website show women using huge strap-ons is because nothing about porn is realistic and it’s pretty much all over the top. The women are plastic, the men are huge, the strap-ons are huge, too.

      1. Ruby,
        I started self pleasuring myself after I was repeatedly turned down by my spouse to peg me (just has been a fantasy for a long time?) Yes, it hurt when she said she wouldn’t after all these years of pleasuring her. I just feel she is missing out on another chapter in our lives of pleasure. As you said Ruby, it takes some warming up, massaging and stretching but you’d be surprised how much a mans anus can stretch without pain once you are WELL lubed and taking time to slowly, SLOWLY work up to something bigger then you think! The stimulation to a man’s prostate is unbelievable. It can and has taken me to new levels of pleasure I never thought possible!!!! The intensity of my orgasms and the amount of semen I produce is also a big surprise and a huge increase……now to figure out how to get her to ride me? I think she’ll come around once I explain it is something I need and I wine and dine her…..it all takes time! Sarge

  4. I agree that most of the girls love pegging. In fact girls are better fuvkers than boys. Some girls look so sexy and dominating that I love to be pegged by them In such cases I ask the girl to go through the website Pegging paradise

  5. Ok, I have a question on this that I will get to, but a little background. I’m a kinky boy and I’ve had a secret fetish of wearing women’s panties (dresses and stockings too). My girlfriend found out and at first she freaked out when she found my stash of panties and thought I was a freak. However, she researched it and came around to realize it wasn’t that bad and she asked me to put on a pair of hers so of course I did and now I only wear her panties and she’s actually enjoyed dressing me up in some of her outfits too. When I first put on her panties she asked me if she could do something to me and said if it was uncomfortable she would stop…anyways, she pulled the panties to the side and started to put her finger up my ass while giving me a blowjob and that was my first experience with that and it was pretty amazing. Recently she asked me if she could try something else and given how much I liked the previous experience I said yes, so she surprised me by using a small vibrator on me while giving me a blow job again and that was amazing.

    She is a fairly conservative woman, but given how understanding and exploratory she was I wonder if she would be open to using a strapon on me? She’s made derogatory comments about them before, previous to all of this so that’s why I’m hesitant to ask. I also wonder if she may say something to the effect of she’s not a lesbian or may think it’s weird, but given recent history maybe my fears are unfounded? I have read that many women like the feeling of control doing this gives them, so this is where my other question comes in. She was in a really bad and abusive relationship prior to this, so I was wondering if pegging me could also provide some psychological benefit to her being in the position of control? I guess in a nutshell I’m curious if any women have benefited mentally/emotionally from pegging a current boyfriend/husband that were in an abusive relationship prior?

    Thanks!

    1. Lots of questions here…the loaded one being:

      I’m curious if any women who were in a prior abusive relationship have benefited mentally/emotionally from pegging a boyfriend/husband?

      Good question – and I will ask this on the podcast to get more responses. As long as the being in control aspect offers a feeling of safety as opposed to general revenge/retribution – I suppose that could be possible and healthy.

      As far as whether she is ready for a strap-on – you can always send her here to the FAQ page and tell her the idea of it turns you on. You already have a foot and a half in the door with her using fingers and hand held toys on you. But know that there are women who will do what your girlfriend is doing but want nothing to do with a strap-on – it just kind of freaks them out. And her using a nice dildo on your ass with her hand would be far far better than nothing….

      And YAY about her accepting the panties!! Sweet.

      1. Ruby,

        Thanks for your response and I agree and that’s kind of what I meant that it would possibly be beneficial for her not only sexually, but also from a control standpoint. I’d be really curious to know what responses you get from other women who have been in a relationship like that and have pegged their partner. We had a discussion last week about boundries and I told her again how much I liked what she has done to me in the past couple of occasions, but I didn’t have the courage to bring up pegging, but maybe it’s time to give that conversation a shot. She did say she just wants to know what all I am into so maybe I’ll ask her if she has any secret fantasies and see if she brings it up. I think both of our minds have opened up a bit to other possibilities in the past few months, but my fear still exists that she may think because I think I would enjoy this that she will think I’m weird or gay or something, when nothing is further from the truth. Thanks again for your help!

  6. Well, I should have listened to you initially and just asked her, but it all worked out. We were doing our usually messing around this past weekend, and she pulled out the vibrator again and asked if she could use it on me…and of course I said yes. To put it short, she went to town on me…great experience yet again and I noticed how wet she was from using that on my and giving me a blowjob. As I was working up the courage to ask her about using a strap-on on me, she said “I think I’d really love to just have a strap-on and just fuck you in the ass”, at first I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly and I said really, you’d like to do that? She said yes, that it turned her on that I let her take control and basically do what she wanted. I then said we should go to the “toy” store and pick one out and she was all over it. We probably spent an hour there looking at the various one’s and the first one we picked out was way too big, so we settled on one that was about the same length as the 9″ vibrator she had been using on me, but a little more girth.

    Anyways, once we got home we loaded up the batteries and it was a bit akward as I helped her adjust the straps, and she was a bit embarrassed since at first we tried it with me on my back facing her. We then decided it might be easier if I was on my tummy so we switched it up. I could tell she was excited because she grabbed the lube and proceeded to give my ass a nice coating and then coated the strap on vibrator too. She was very gentle and kept asking me if it was ok, and it was at first, but I could tell she was excited and she started to thrust a bit and got a bit too rambunctious (pun intended) and it hurt a bit. It gave me a whole new respect for those times where I had done this to a past girlfriend and she said “ouch”, she was a little worried after that and I reassured her it was ok. just go really slow and put some more lubrication on it. She was very gentle, but I could tell she was turned on too, with her breasts against my back giving slow little thrusts to slowly enter me. The girth on this vibrator, was probably a good 2 – 3/4″ so it took about 3 to 4 minutes of her slow thrusts and grinding it around a bit to get it in…and at that point I could hear her breathing heavy in my ear. I was able to reach around and grab her ass and pull her the rest of the way into me and she moaned, saying that the vibrations and the thought of what she was doing to me was about to make her cum. She then started to slowly thrust and grind into me and I could tell she was close to having an orgasm. I was too, but laying on my stomach she couldn’t reach me so I pushed back a little bit and started grinding on her and she reached under me and started to stroke me, while slowing sliding in and out. When I told her to fuck me she really started to go to town and her heavy breathing told me she was having an orgasm and I wasn’t even touching her! Just knowing she was getting off on it made me lose it too, and we just sat there for a bit afterwards with her lying on my back still inside me. Afterwards she kept asking me if I was ok, and I said of course it felt great for me. This morning she mentioned again how much she enjoyed it and said she wants to do it again, of course I said hell yes…she said how she also wants to get a double-ended dildo for us to use together too, so it couldn’t be better. I’d have to say it did live up to and past my expectations even though it was a bit akward for both of us at first, but I’m really looking forward to her doing it again, but I hope we can do it “missionary” style so I can touch her and she can touch me easier. Long story short….Ruby you were right, I should have just asked, but it’s all good. I did ask her after she pegged me how long she has been wanting to do this and she said a few months. I confessed that I had been wanting to do this for a long time so we made a deal that if there is anything either of us want…just ask. I think this proves that communication and saying what you want is key, since she was into using the vibrator on me before I should have just asked. It’s all good now though and thanks for all of your thoughts and help Ruby and others.

    Teee – (lost his pegging cherry finally!)

  7. Hey Ruby,
    Not sure if you have posted your #98 podcast yet, but if not, please exclude my name/location. I’d be more than happy to have my post put out there for both ambitious women, as well as receptive men, but its pretty personal, needless to say. Lol. Lest there is a cooperative counterpart in my area to whom which said information would be mutually beneficial. 😉 Anyway, thanks for providing a forum in which likeminded folks can touch on the subject.
    Ash L

  8. Hello Ruby I’m not sure if you can answer this but i will ask anyway. Ive been into pegging for almost 10 years im 32 and love being submissive to women. The problem im having is that most of the women i meet in Atl only see me as a plaything or toy or someone to fulfill a long time fantasy and not worth a long term relationship because i enjoy being pegged. I want a ltr and be free to enjoy the lifestyle with one female but its becoming so impossible im ready to just give up on it. What is your opinion as a woman?

  9. Hey its the thought that counts again thank you. I listened to it and laughed actually I agree with you. But like I said I’ve been into femdom since 05 so I’ve tried most websites and the local scene the locals are way to extreme for me. But in will try the Web site you suggested not fet life I hate fet life but I will try ok and Thank You

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