Podcast #5 Q&A

Pegging Paradise Q&A Podcast #5

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♥  Boyfriend wants to try pegging, she's not turned on by it. Is that okay? Or might she be she letting her fears dissuade her?

♥ Combining pegging with chastity? They're into it and she wants advice.

♥ Ms Mina Pierce, Pro Dominatrix in Philadelphia strikes up a conversation with me about pegging. I write about it and talk about it. She does it for men who can't get it from their wives/girlfriends. We both encounter the "gay" misconception and wonder how to unpack that one.

♥ I wax poetic about how "strapless strap-ons" (double ended dildos) are NOT strapless for practitioners of pegging (read hetero), and most especially for the pegging newbies

♥ Ruby's got a plan to (finally) get a double-ended dildo of her own. It involves...writing, and getting paid for it.

CatalystCon - I'll be there, will you?


2 Responses

  1. Great podcast! I’d love to throw in my two cents about combining chastity play with pegging. It’s one of those amazing combinations like peanut butter and chocolate. Let me just enumerate some of the finer points:

    1) Pegging feels so much better when a guy has a full prostate. Abstaining from ejaculation for a week or so beforehand makes everything down there hypersensitive in the best possible way so that even the slightest contact leaves a trace of warm glowy pleasure.

    2) There are erotic pressure points on the body that when compressed generate a feeling of pleasure. These include the wrists, ankles, elbows, knees and, you guessed it, around the base of the penis (behind the balls). Many folks who enjoy bondage do so for the physical sensation of having these points stimulated. This may also be linked to a feeling of submission but in many people it’s just about physical pleasure. Among couples who practice non-BDSM pegging, you’ll often see the man wearing a strap or band around the base of his penis. That band provides a sensation of tightness, security or of being held that feels amazing when combined with pegging. The sensation is heightened every time the man’s body rocks with a thrust from his peggor. A chastity cage can provide this sensation.

    3) Bondage helps people let go. Many people, especially those in high stakes jobs or positions of power, have trouble just letting go and letting things happen. They feel the need to always be in control, always worry about what’s going on and if it’s right or optimal. Bondage can be incredibly liberating for those people. When tied to the bed you don’t have to worry about things like, “Am I doing this right?” or “Does my partner like me or like my lovemaking?” or “Am Is there something else more important I need to attend to?” When you’re tied up the answer to all of those questions is “there’s nothing you can do about it so you might as well relax and enjoy this.” In fact some people find it so beneficial that they don’t even need sex when tied up. They find that being tied up and left there for a few hours works wonders on their mood and stress levels. Chastity play can offer this benefit and can even extend it over the course of days or weeks. For those compulsive masturbators among us, being locked up is very freeing. Instead of spending a lot of emotional energy trying to resist wanking for the tenth time in a day, we are free to go about our business knowing wanking is impossible with the cage on. For those who feel rejected and alone because they aren’t getting sex, a cage helps them feel like sex isn’t even an option, even if they were to get an offer, therefore there is nothing to be ashamed of.

    4) Some people just enjoy submitting to someone else or being forced to submit to someone else. For those folks it is fundamentally erotic to have someone else in control of them in a sexual way. This may have roots in “courtly love” or it may just be a carryover form the intense feelings of infatuation felt during adolescence (when you feel like your world turns upside down every time that cute girl walks into the room and you realize she has some sort of sexual power over you… and you like it). Folks in this category feel the most pleasure when someone compels them to do things by some sort of mental, emotional or even physical way that overrides everything else. Just saying things like, “She made me” or “I had no choice” or “she wouldn’t let me out of chastity unless I…” are a turn-on for these people. People who don’t have this turn-on can find this difficult to understand, but that’s just how “subs” are wired.

    5) For some it’s all about the romance. The device serves as an hourly reminder that your heart and body belong to your true love. Every jiggle caused by walking (not to mention the actual erections) reminds the man of who holds his key and his heart. The chastity cage and chastity key worn on the necklace of the keyholder are analogous to promise rings or charms.

    6) Desire is pleasure. For some, the feeling of wanting, of hoping, of lusting, is pleasure. It’s the thrill of the chase. You often hear that the journey is better than the destination. This is the principle behind the age-old strip tease then many women use so well to hype guys up to these incredible sexual highs. As soon as orgasm arrives, the fun is over. The longer you can prolong the pre-orgasm glow the more pleasure you experience. This aspect of chastity play is often called tease and denial. (Edging is also related, where you bring the man to the brink of orgasm over and over without letting him cum.)

    7) For some chastity is purely practical. It may be used to curb a masturbation habit or to help a cheating husband redirect his unruly passions. Some use it as a motivator to lose weight, do better in sports, study for exams or strive for a promotion at work. For some it may be a gateway to help a partner open up to other activities like pegging.

    8) For just about everyone I have spoken with, chastity play involves some combination of these things. In fact, it is often a very dynamic feedback loop as these different aspects of chastity flash in and out of the minds of the players.

    So there you have a quick rundown of some of the motivations and benefits of chastity play.

    1. Amazing offering of information, TallLightHandsome! Thank you so much. All of this was fascinating but obviously Number 1 was the gem for me. I have known this for some time but to have it confirmed is delightful and immediately gives me ideas…I love it when that happens.

      I didn’t know there were so many reasons men enjoy chastity. I suppose it’s like many things – there are many different reasons why men enjoy pegging, too.

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