The Interview

Ruby has had an interesting few days lately...

A journalist writing for a local newspaper interviewed me. Yes, you read that right, interviewed me. Says he's writing an article about some of us more adventuresome and sexually edgy people in the area and how the more vanilla couples could perhaps learn a thing or two from us. Nice.

When he first contacts me, we exchange a few emails and he wonders how to fit something about pegging into the piece. Before we speak on the phone he contacts an "academic sex expert" (who turns out to be a local academic who teaches about sexuality). So when I find myself on the phone with this man, who by the way has a gorgeous deep voice, my first question for him is what did the "sex expert" have to say about my particular proclivity?

She had never heard of it.

My first reaction is that if you spend your time with your nose in the books instead of out in the real world, that's the kind of education you end up with. When I tell him this I actually phrase it as "..instead of in the trenches" and immediately regret it because I am trying to lend some legitimacy to the subject and somehow the word 'trenches' leans heavily into potentially sordid territory. But I go on. Ms. Academic Sexpert obviously is not the kind of person who has immersed herself in the subject of sexuality to the point of exploring some of the more unusual sexual activities that people enjoy. I'm willing to bet it wasn't her major. And that she doesn't know who Dan Savage is.

But okay, whatever. There are actually a lot of people who have never heard of the word "pegging" and have not even encountered strap-on lesbian sex, either. It's quite possible to have missed all that if you don't watch porn. More rare for a sex educator, but possible.

So Mr. Sexy Voice continues on hesitatingly and says that actually Ms. Academic Sexpert said it probably had something to do with...(wait for it)...homosexuality.

Heavy sigh (that was mine, not Mr. Sexy Voice Journalist's).

I tell this man to listen carefully.

"The area of your body that you enjoy having stimulated has no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating."

"Can you repeat that, please...slowly?" He asks. Sure. I do exactly that, enunciating each word, envisioning it in print in the local newspaper.

We talk, Mr. Sexy Voice Journalist and I, for quite a while. About orgasms ten times more powerful than normal ones. About role reversal and intimacy. About where my interest in pegging began (I don't know, actually...I have always been rather anally obsessed, but I censor the word 'obsessed', not wanting to sound too out there). About motivating factors that would persuade a woman to peg a man. About this website, which he's been perusing. That one gives me pause. Which parts drew him in after the journalist in him had located the informational stuff? Did he read the erotica? Did he enjoy it?

He asks great questions. I can hear the fascination in his voice. Before we hang up I can't resist telling him that he has a really lovely voice.

You see, Mr. Sexy Voice Journalist, when women hear a low, rumbling voice like yours, we think of all kinds of things. Here at Pegging Paradise, we wonder if his moans would be as full and resonant as his voice is.

When I deliver the compliment he accepts it gracefully. Yet it feels like my sincere praise of his vocal chords puts him in a place he's not used to being in with interviewees. I enjoy his unsettledness. We hang up.

The article is due out on Valentine's day and I can't wait to see how he chooses to describe pegging in a local newspaper. He interviewed 3 other women, too. Roylin Downs, of Kama Sutra Closet (where I will be teaching February 16th!), Joan Price, author of "Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex" and Andi Epstein, teacher of tantric sex practices.

That interview...was fun.

If all interviews are like that, sign me up.


8 Responses

  1. Good for you, Ruby! Educating the masses and tantalizing journalists with your sexy strapon talk. There is definitely material here for a sequel with this guy. I’m thinking a more in-depth study for a follow-up article might be in order.

    Also, worst sex expert EVER!

  2. I have an instinctive loathing of ‘journalists’ these days. I’ve seen them twist things around for their own benefit enough times, and leave the interviewee wondering ‘WTF?’. I’m sure that the saying ‘Never let the facts get in the way of a good story’ still gets a lot of use, especially today.

    Whilst he may have been genuinely uninformed, or naive, to have accepted Ms. Academic Sexpert’s opinion that pegging, or possibly any other sort of male anal play, may be somehow homosexual, his (and his editor’s) take on it will only be seen after publication of the article.

    I really hope it turns out well. There’s nothing like seeing your words and meanings twisted beyond anything that might resemble ‘reasonable’, to put a dampener on your week, even if it is from a sexy voiced journo.

    I concur with Lars’ assessment of Ms. Academic Sexpert, and would encourage her to seek a full refund of her education fees.

  3. Sorry to hear that you were cut from what is going to be printed (Mentioned in Podcast #35).

    I guess Ruby Ryder is still considered “too kinky for the mainstream media”.

    1. I would have been surprised if they printed it, actually. I am a realist when it comes to being clear about how edgy pegging is in the eyes of the general public. And “edgy” is just a polite word for unacceptable. Goodness, there are people who still think sex toys are quite daring! 😉

  4. >my first question for him is what did the “sex expert” have to say about my particular proclivity? She had never heard of it.

    I’d asked psychologists (and sexologists) about pegging. I am doing some own research work and I want to write scientific paper about it, so I defenetely need some help.

    Only one replied – and he don’t know anything about someone, who is interested in thats kind of research.

    But they are all russian experts and we have really bad times now – because our parlament now discussing a ‘homosexual agenda ban’ bill. We already can not say ‘homosexuality is normal’ in 6 regions of 80… so it’s pretty predictable that all researchers don’t want to research pegging.

    I really impressed by the fact that US sex experts does not know anything about strapon sex. But when I read Journal of Sexual Behaviour or Archoives of Sexual Medicine or some other special peer reviewed journals – I find a lot (not ‘a lot’. A LOT) of articles about homosexuality, about risky behavior and 0 (zero) articles about pegging. And only some articles about heterosexual anal sex. Its something wrong with that science! 😉

    1. Alexey – I totally agree that something is very wrong with that science. I think people are too nervous to write about pegging in professional journals here in the US, not because of oppression like where you are, but rather damage to their reputation as a professional because the subject matter is still not widely accepted.

      I am sad to hear about restriction of gay rights in Russia!

      I laughed at the ridiculousness of this: “Putin, a former KGB spy who has criticised gays for failing to help reverse Russia’s population decline, has increasingly looked for support among conservative constituencies and particularly the church to offset his falling support.”

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